Lord of the Pirate Potthead: Volume one
by Merry Sparrow
Summary: HP, LotR, PotC crossover but other ideas come from other movies or shows. This is The first part of the series, The No Plot Plot it has a lot of ramdom things, some funny, some serious. You'll just have to read.
1. Prologue

**WARNING:** Please put away any drinks and/or food at this point. This story may be hazardous to your computer. This is not for the over sensitive or those with low or no sense of humor. If you are one of these people, Turn Back Now! You Have Been Warned!

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**Prologue Part One: Histories**

Charactors telling their own history in POV! (obviously, I know. I tend have too many blonde moments since I **am** blonde, so just work with me here.)

* * *

_Merry Deladrierith's POV_

I have always been the more mysterious one of the group. I'm a half elf - half hobbit that has traveled through 3 dementions and 2 time periods. I have several names I go by, Lila Maggot, Linwe Telperien, and Merry Deladrierith. I was born on Sunday May 17, 1970 (In the modern time that would be my birth date). I was born in a small country in Middle Earth called The Shire. I was named Lila Maggot. My dad was a Hobbit and my mom was an Elf. My parents and I always did things together and my mom would take me to Lothlorien every summer and was given a name there as well, Linwe Telperien. One night when I was only 10 years old, my parents where brutally murdered by Voldemort.

I spent the next ten years of my life with a nice wizarding family and even was excepted at Hogwarts. Though after the tragedy, I became more of a mischievous child, always getting into trouble and always getting detention. My house had been Ravenclaw, despite my trouble making. After graduation, I had moved to a small town outside London. The place had reminded me of home. Though most of the people were taller them me, at least by a few inches. I was only 5 foot, and that's towering over the hobbits at home, but looking up to the elves in Lothlorien.

I had gone to bed one school night (college) only to wake up in the streets of some strange town. The Commodore had found me and insisted that I stay with the Turners. Later that night, Elizabeth (Though I called her Lizzie) had taken me to a local tavern to meet an old friend of hers. Any friend of hers had to be someone special, I thought. I entered the tavern and looked around. Then the strangest thing happened, this man somehow fell out of his chair. I laughed a little, then got a good look at him after he got back up. His skin was tanned, lining his eyes was Kohl (just the same as eyeliner. Serves the same purpose almost), residing in his long, black hair where beads, coins and some type of bone, and taming the mess of hair was a faded red bandana. I couldn't stop staring. If I didn't believe in "Love At First Sight" before, I sure did now. Lizzie introduced the handsome stranger as Captain Jack Sparrow. We talked, with Lizzie staying quiet. An hour later, Lizzie left.

Only 15 minutes after she left, Jack asked me to accompany him on a voyage or two. How could I resist? So I agreed. Only I spend more then just a voyage or two on _The Black Pearl_. It was more like 12 years, 12 of the happiest years of my life. Only, my happiness was cut short when I woke up in some new town I learned was a town in the United States.

I managed to rent a home, and was able to go back to school. I was also volunteering my time helping the high school band, where I met my best friend, Pippin and later met Mel, Pick and Jacob. But that's later I guess. That's what SHE says. 'Points to me, the author'.

* * *

_Pick's POV_

My name is Pick. I had lived in the Shire for most of my life. Only my parents died when I was real little, and don't remember. A band of orcs, led by Sauron himself, had raided my village, killing hobbits along the way. Luckily I wasn't found. I remember growing up mainly on the streets, occasionally being sheltered my a kind-hearted family, only to be kicked out again. As I was never really taught how to talk, I became a mute and seldom helped the families I stayed with, which was the reason for being abandoned again. Later on, while I was searching a trash bin outside of some wealthy family's home, a strange looking Man, dressed in black clothing, had approached me and offered me a home for a small price. Of course, I agreed and went with him. Only to my surprise did I find out that it was no small price to stay at the manor of Mister Severus Snape. I was poorly cared for; getting little food, poor bedding, shabby clothing, and working till I was too exhausted to work anymore. Five years I spent in the place with "House Elves". I finally was just frustrated with the poor treatment and left. I wasn't like these house elves and bound to a family forever. I wasn't a house elf! So, late one night, while the master was asleep in his room, I snuck out the back door with enough food to last me a week.

I slept in alleyways for a month. And, as I slept in a alleyway near Diagon Alley, someone had carried me, using some kind of transportation to some new country, to the doorstep of the most kindest people I have ever met. Merry. I know live with her and being home schooled.

* * *

Jack's POV

'Pokes him awake' I'm awake, I'm awake. 'Tells him what he has to do' What? 'Author: They may not know you.' WHAT? Who doesn't know about the infamous Captain Jack Sparrow? The most feared pirate in the Caribbean. 'Threatens him with a bath' Alright, alright. I'll do it. Just don't give me a bath! Let's see... Well, at one point in me life, me ship was taken from me by me mutinous 1st mate Barbossa, who sailed to Isle De Muarta and took the cursed treasure of Cortez. 10 years of trying to find me ship had lead me to a town called Port Royal where I met the whelp, Will and his bonnie lass 'lizebeth. Well, 'lizebeth was taken by the cursed pirates, thinkin' it was Bootstraps only child, and the Eunuch came to me fer help. We found Barbossa and his crew of miscreants, lifted the curse (which I had become cursed just to fight off Barbossa in order to give the Whelp enough time to lift the curse) and killed Barbossa. After savin' the Whelp's life and 'lizebeth, er, Miss Swann's life, I was 'bout hung by Norrington just fer bein' a bloody pirate. Thanks ta the whelp, I was able to live to fight another day. I also reclaimed me _Pearl_. 'Grins from ear to ear' 'Author: Go on! 'Pokes him more'' Alright! Bloody women! Anyway, I came back a few years later ta visit the whelp. Some'ow 'lizebeth talked me inta meetin' this lass at a tavern, only they forced me not ta drink. Didn' wan' me tipsy. (A/N: Has anyone ever heard of a sober Jack Sparrow? Anyone?) So I sit there for, it seems like, forever. Then I notice this lass walk in. I fell out of me chair, she was BEAUTIFUL! Though she had the most beautiful hair color, strawberry blonde which was pulled pack and the most beautiful skin a woman can have. She dressed in a strange pair of pants and an unusual shirt. The pants where buttoned at the top with a "zipper" and at the bottom, looked like bells. She called them "bell bottoms". Her shirt was this dark blue.

'lizebeth spotted me and directed her over to me table. They sat down and 'lizebeth introduced 'er as Lila. She sat quietly as we talked, getting along very well. The more we talked the more I fell for 'er. Then, 'lizebeth got up and announced that she was goin' ta go 'ome and sleep.

I couldn' hold back any longer. I asked Lila if she wanted to come with me on me _Pearl_. I was more then 'appy when she agreed. She stayed for 12 years. Those where some of the happiest years of me life. The crew had given 'er a new name, Merry. They seemed to like 'er a lot, only Anamaria wasn't as taken by 'er. Always given 'er glares.

One morning, I found that Merry was no where to be seen, on deck or below. I called 'er name, but no answer. When I finally accepted that she was gone, I stayed in me cabin and didn't see anyone, didn't eat or sleep fer days. Me 'eart had broken. I ne'er told 'er 'ow I felt 'bout 'er.

A week later, I arrived at Port Royal. I explained to the whelp and 'is new wife what 'appened to Merry. They said it wasn' that surprisin' considerin' 'ow she showed up.

"She just appeared on our doorstep, from thin air." Will 'ad explained.

Well that was it. I 'ad to find out 'ow she just disappeared out of thin air an' follow 'er. I spen' the next several months researchin' everythin' that might have anythin' do with Merry's disappearance. After almost a year, I found out that it was some powerful force that had taken me bonnie lass away from me. I spen' another month or so tryin' to get to Merry, and I did. I ended up in the middle of a busy street with metal carriages almost runnin' me over. I panicked, and ran to the side. With tha' out o' the way, I 'eaded to the most likely place she may be, or where someone may know where she may be; the library. I knew she liked to read since she was always buyin' books. Even though she wasn't there, the people there told me where she lived and gave me directions. I thanked them and 'eaded to 'er 'ome.

I knocked on the door and, when it opened, stood me bonnie lass, more beautiful then when I last saw 'er. And well, after tha' I guess it's jus' up ta yer imaginations.

* * *

_Pippin's POV_

'Bounces around like a maniac trying to get the attention of the readers' Hey! Over here! Hey! Me next, me next. 'Laughs insanely' Hello! Hi, all! How are we today? Good? Great. (Author pokes Pippin, and tells her to stop stalling) Why? (Me: Because the readers want to know about you) Ok, fine. As you all know, my name is Pippin Elfhelm. I was born in Buckland, the Shire on February 18, 1977. My mom, Poppy Brandybuck Elfhelm, is full blood Hobbit and my dad, Halmir Elfelm, if full blood Elf. That makes me half-hobbit and half-elf.(well duh) Unfortunately for my brother, he turned out to be full blood orc. How that happened, I'm not real sure. Since I have elf blood in me, I grew to be taller then my own parents. (AN: Dad must have been one of the short elves.)

I grew up mostly in the shire, occasionally going to Mirkwood with my dad. I had many friends from both races, and went to school in both places. I went to every hobbit party there was and every hobbit holiday we had time to go to. Dad even took me to a few elven holiday parties in Mirkwood.

By the time I was sixteen years old, we heard rumors that there was some kind of passage to other dementions. We talked over the idea of traveling to another place and time as a family and came to the conclusion that we needed a bit of a change. So we packed up our stuff and headed to the place where the portal was said to be. And to our surprise, there it was. This large hole was behind some inn in the next town. We jumped through and found ourselves in the middle of some new country I have never seen before.

Within a week, we had moved into a house, unpacked, and enrolled my brother and I into the school. I, for some strange reason, had become shy and didn't talk unless the teacher called on me to answer a question or to do a presentation. I didn't make any friends and was left out of most after school activities. The only thing I participated in was the band program. It seemed to keep me preoccupied. I believe this went on for about a month, but we will get to that later.

Durning the night, few days after settling down, I heard a noise from the front of the house. I went to investigate, being the curious half-hobbit that I am. I opened the door and at first didn't see anything. But I catch something moving on our porch and looked to see what it was. I expected it to be one of those creatures that looked like they where wearing masks. Oh what are they called... (Author: Psst, Psst. It's called a racoon.) Yeah that's it, a racoon. Instead of finding a Bacoot- (Author: Racoon!) Whatever, anyway, instead of finding the animal, I found a figure under a really shabby blanket and using it's arm as a pillow. I inched closer, trying not to wake it, but he had good hearing. The figure under the blanket darted up and was about to run when it noticed that no one as going after him. His big green eyes looked as though they had sunk into his skull, he was real thin and his cloths where falling off of him, his hair was a curly mess on top of his head and even the hair on his feet was a tangled mess. He looked like he had not had a proper bath in a month, which was quite possible. Dirt was smeared all over his face, hands and what you could see of his feet, even his cloths where dirty. The only thing around his neck was a gold chain with a locked. He was holding it very tight, like it was going to disappear any second. His fingernails and toenails where quite long and had a large amount of dirt under them.

I felt very sorry for the poor little hobbit. I spent an hour and a half trying to get him to come near enough to me so I can talk to him. I ask him to stay on the porch until I got back from talking to my mother and father. He needed a place to sleep, a proper place to sleep and needed a good, proper bath.

When I can back out, I found my brother talking to the hobbit. He looked scared and about to bolt until he saw me and run to me and hid behind me. I asked his name, but he did not answer. So, I asked him if he would like to come inside and sleep. He nodded his head and followed me inside. I got him all clean; his hair was no longer a tangled mess, both head and feet; his nails cut and dirt no longer resided there, and he had new, clean cloths on.

From that day forward, the hobbit, whom later revealed his name was Jacob, lived with us. He quickly gained some weight and did not look at all like the hobbit that I had found on the pouch. Now his favorite thing is eating.

A couple years later, a woman came into our band rehearsal, looking for a part time job. She worked with the flute section and even, on occasion, preformed with the band at basketball games.

The next couple of weeks, she began getting to know everyone. She even asked us to call her by her nickname, Merry, even thought we didn't know what her real name was. She occasionally tried to hold a conversation with me, but I only gave her short answers.

When she started working during school hours, she began getting taunted. All of us in the band began getting worried about her since she began distancing herself from everyone and was less of the happy person we all knew.

That's when I needed to talk to her. I confronted her after class and ask what the matter was. She just lowered her head and didn't answer. She was the same the next day and I asked her again what the matter was, but didn't get an answer. It wasn't until a week later that I got an answer. Now, I can't stress enough how people here barely knew about what exactly she was, all except those who where teasing her. Her hair always covered her ears (Her hair is long and slightly curly). When she told me she was half elf/half hobbit, I was really shocked. I never thought that I would meet someone like me.

From that point on, we became the best of friends. We were inseparable. We where almost sisters.

One afternoon after band practice, some… thing came riding up to the school building on a horse. He had long blonde hair in an elvish style, the bluest eyes I've ever seen, and his cloths where even elvish. In fact, he was an elf.

'_How did he get here from Middle Earth?'_ I thought.

I picked up a rock unknowingly and chucked it at the elf's head. I immediately freaked and ran to the fallen elf. I had the strangest urge to blame a guy named Jack. (Jack: Hey!)

"It was Jack's fault!" I blurted out for no apparent reason.

"Um… Who's Jack?"

"Who's Jack?" I started to panic. I frantically started to look around and found someone to blame it on. Merry's new guy friend, Bill or Andrew or something like that. I pointed at him. "Him. That's the guy that threw the rock at you."

Merry's guy just looks at us for a minute, then took off in a dead run. Merry looked at us with an "I'm gonna kill you" glare, and then was off after her friend.

The elf told me his name was Mel and that he had some problems with his parents, so he left. But I guess that's for later.

And that's about it.

'Pippin starts to twittling her thumbs until someone had to drag her away.'

_

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_

Jacob's POV

'Being forced out crying.' I don't wanna. You can't make me. 'Tears stream down his face. He sees the readers and freezes. Pippin comforts him and gets him to talk.'

Jacob's the name. I'm a fairly young hobbit of only 17 years. I was born in Hobbiton on March 2. 'clams up again. He looks to Pippin for support and comfort. She pats him on the head and tells him it's all right.' I'm an orphaned hobbit, was my whole life. Couldn't tell you what happened to my parents since I was too young to know what was going on.

The majority of my childhood was unhappy… Wait, I'm still a child! Anyway, I was bullied at school, I had no friends, and I was always picked last for teams at school. My aunt Delilah took me in after my parents died. She never called me by my real name. She always called my "boy". 'sniff' 'tears stream down his face, but he continues anyway.' I lived there for 9 years, taking harsh demands and being punished for not doing it right.

I could not take it anymore, so I ran. Since I left, I didn't have any place to go. I slept on porches, any porch I could find. I slept the whole night there as long as I wasn't run off with a broom.

I spent 4 months like this.

One starry night, I was spotted a really, really big porch that I could sleep on. It was very hard and I had a hard time falling asleep. Suddenly, a light comes on, the door opens, and a giant Hobbit Monster came out. (Or at least I thought it was a monster.) I was so scared that I ran to the edge of the porch. She tried to get me to come closer so she could ask me my name. I couldn't move cause I thought she wanted to eat me.

After she left, this… this thing came out, ran toward me, pulled me onto a bench and asked me a million questions a minute. This thing was even scarier then the Hobbit Monster.

I was so relieved when she came back out. I ran to her and hid behind her. She asked what my name was, but I didn't answer. She then asked if I wanted to come in. I nodded my head and followed her very closely. I didn't want her out of my sight.

I was cleaned up, feed, and sent to bed. I did finally tell her my name, and I'm staying there permanently. How great is that!

'runs off to raid the fridge.'

* * *

Mel's POV

"Oh look who's next. Pippin's love muffin" Merry blurted out as both Pippin and Mel came in. They both gave the evil eye. "Ok Ok. I won't say that again. Just don't hurt me." She hides behind Jack.

Let's get on with this. I don't want to be here. (AN: Then hurry it up.)

Alright, I will. Sheesh. My full name is Melvin Amandil. I was born on January 26, 1799, (AN: That's making him 206 for those of you who are bad at math) to a wealthy family in Lorien. Since my parents are very wealthy, they were always at social gatherings or at work. I went to school and got and education. But, when I graduated, my parents were not there. Soon after graduation, I started training in archery. Mom and Dad wanted that. Before my training was over, though, I was called to battle. Making a stupid move, I shot an orc which landed on my leg and broke it. Even though it has healed, I still walk with a limp.

I came back home to the same atmosphere as I left. I was still ignored and the only elves I could talk to where the maids. So, that night I packed my things and left.

As I watched the scenery go by, I noticed that things began to change dramatically. I soon came to a village with metal carriages that moved with out horses and tall buildings (well tall for me). Every one on the streets looked at me strangely. These people all wore strange clothing.

I rode though the "park" and to another building where students where exiting with cases. Two students came out that looks almost just like me.

Before I knew it, I'm hit in the head with a rock and fell of my horse. I got up, with the help of a pretty young girl, who told me it was "Jack's" fault.

I asked her who Jack was. She looked around and pointed at a guy who took off in a dead run.

It turns out the girl was the one who threw the stone. I found out her name was Pippin. She offered me a place to stay and I accepted. On the way to her home, I told her my name and why I was here.

She was quite surprised to know where I came from and confessed that she's from there as well.

Every thing else is history I guess.

'Waves goodbye as Pippin drags him out of the room with Merry laughing.'

* * *

_**(AN: I thought that 2 prologues would be sufficient since the first chapter goes right into the story. This prologue will fill in the gap between the Histories of the characters and the 1st chapter.)**_

**Prologue Part Two: A Wedding and Pippin's Secret.**

"You've known him that long? Wow! He must really like you to come and find you like he did." Pippin smiled while talking to her best friend, Merry. "I just can't believe that you spent that much time together and still like each other. Do you think he likes you, likes you?" Now she was getting excited.

"I really don't know. If he does, he hasn't told me." Merry confesses, starting to blush.

"Do you like him?" Pippin eyed her suspiciously.

Merry just blushed even more violently.

"You do, don't you?" Pippin shrieked, then started to giggle insanely. "I'm gonna tell Jack!"

"Oh no you don't." Merry grabbed her shirt and dragged her back to her seat beside her. "If you tell him, he'll never look at me again, let along talk to me." She had a scared look while she said this.

"You don't know that. We don't know entirely if he really likes you or not."

"For all we know, he came for me because he didn't want to lose a good friend."

"Who doesn't want to lose a good friend?" Mel asked as he slipped an arm around Pippin's waist. It was her turn to blush. Mel leaned down so he could whisper into Pippin's ear. "Jack needs to talk to you."

"About what? Is it something I should be concerned about? I'm not ususally the one he asked for?" Pippin whispers back, ignoring confused looks from Merry.

"It's about Merry." Pippin's eyes widen. She jumps up and excuses herself, leaving Merry even more confused.

* * *

Jack paces the upstairs area. He need to talk to someone who knew Merry pretty well, and that person happened to be Pippin since she was her best friend. Will and Elizebeth couldn't help with his problem since they really didn't know the lass. 

Jack's train of thought was broken when someone cleared their throat. He turned toward the stair case and there stood the person he had asked to see. Pippin had her hands behind her back.

"You wanted to see me?"

"Oh. Yes, yes." Jack was unnaturally sober and very nervous. He starts to look down and starts to fidget with his hands

"Who did you get pregnant?" Pippin said with her hands on her hips, looking very stern.

"What! No one!" Jack said surprised to be asked that question.

"Oh." Pippin goes red in the face. "Then what do you want Jack?"

"I just wanted to ask you if you could help me talk to yer mate, Merry." Jack gets even more nervous

A smile appeared on her face. She knew why he was making a fuss. "Is there something I should know, Jack?"

He just shook his head, fidgeting even more and looking down again.

"You like her!" Pippin squeeled again. "You really like her!"

"Please, luv. Don' tell 'er. Who knows wha' she would think."

Pippin tries not to blurt out what Merry had told her earlier. She nodded her head alittle and giggled. "Yeah, sure. I won't tell."

"Good." He quite pacing and fidgeting. "Now, could you help me talk to her

"No problem."

"Thanks, luv."

"Don't call me luv! Save that for Merry."

"Sorry."

"Let's get started, shall we?"

Jack nodded.

* * *

Mel waits down stairs near the stair case. It's been several hours since Pippin had went up to talk to Jack. He was getting worried. 

Soon, he heard something coming down the stairs. He jumps up and turns around to see Pippin coming down, looking rather pleased with herself. Mel became very curious.

"Well? What did he want?"

"He wanted to know how to talk to Merry." She still had that smile on her face.

"Is that it?" Mel was getting very anxious.

"He likes her, she likes him... and what neither of them know is how much the other likes them. The funny thing is they won't let me tell the other." Pippin starts giggling again.

"Your kidding!'

She shakes her head. "No. They both are afriad that if the other knew, they won't talk to the other again." She giggles again. "He's gonna ask her on a date... tonight." She's nearly dancing around the room.

"Do you know when tonight?"

"After dinner." She continues to dance around.

Dinner time came. They all sat at the dinner table very quietly. Pippin and Mel both waited impatiently for Jack to ask his question. Jack would look at Merry, but as soon as she would look in his direction, he would look away and vise versa.

When they where done with dinner, desert was served. Before Jack got his, he pulled Merry into the other room and shut the door.

Pippin and Mel rushed to the door and pressed their ears to it so they could hear every word that was being said.

"What are you doing?" Merry asked, looking him in the eye.

When he looked into her eyes, his palms got sweaty and his knees felt weak. He began getting nervous. _'Remember what Pippin told ye'_ he told himself

"I was wondering if ye would go ta dinner with me tomorrow night?"

Outside the door, Pippin and Mel were cheering Merry on silently.

Merry noticed that Jack was nervous, but thought nothing of it. She just stood there, shocked that he, of all people, would ask her to dinner when he could ask much more attractive women instead.

After several minutes, she agreed. He smiled his golden teeth and kissed her on the cheek. He said his goodnights and retreated to his room.

As soon as he was out of earshot, she jumped around hollering. Pippin rushed in grinning from ear to ear. They jumped in circles very excitedly while holding onto each other's hands.

The next six months, they dated nearly every night and slowly began to realize they were falling in love.

* * *

On a cool spring evening, Will and Gibbs came to visit Jack. He greeted his friends at the door, but told them he was on his way out with a lass. They were glad to here that he was still seeing other women, but when he told them he has been seeing the same girl for nearly half a year, they wondering if he was feeling alright. 

Just at that moment, Merry can down the stairs looking very lovely. They said goodnight and left Gibbs and Will standing on the porch.

"I can see what's happening." Gibbs motioned toward Jack and Merry.

"What?" Will said confused.

"And they don't have a clue."

"Who?" Will said getting more confused by the minute.

"They'll fall in love and here's the bottom line. Our trio's down to two." Gibbs held up two fingers.

"Oh."

"The sweet caress of twilight. There's magic in the air and with all this romantic atmosphere, disasters in the air." They watch miserably as Jack and Merry walk into a beautiful garden.

Soft music plays as they walk. Pippin walks out of one of the rooms upstairs and onto a balcony. She begins to sing along with the music.

"_Can you feel the love tonight?_

_The peace the evening brings_

_The world for once_

_In perfect harmony_

_With all it's living things"_

'_So many things to tell her.'_ Jack thought to himself. _'But how to make her see. The truth about my past? Impossible! She'd turn away from me'_

Merry looked at Jack and thought: _'He's holding back, his hiding. But what I can't decide. Why won't he be the man I know he is. The man I see inside.'_

Pippin singing softly again.

_"Can you feel the love tonight?_

_The peace the evening brings_

_The world for once_

_In perfect harmony_

_With all it's living things_

_Can you feel the love tonight_

_You needn't look to far_

_Speeling through_

_The night's uncertainties_

_Love is where they are"_

"And if he falls in love tonight," Will sniffs. "It can be assumed…" Gibbs can't go on.

"His carefree days with us are history." Will says through tears.

"In short our pal is doomed." They both start crying hysterically.

Jack and Merry turn to each other. Jack leans in and as their lips meet, they share a kiss that is full of love for each other. They hold that kiss for several minutes until they both have to breathe.

He looks down at her with loving eyes. "I…" He takes a deep breath. "I love you."

Merry only looks at him in pure and utter surprise. Jack sees the expression on her face and becomes sad. "I'm sorry, luv. I shouldn' 'ave said tha'." Jack begins to walk towards the house in a slow pace. She grabs his arm, turning him around. He looks at her in wonder.

"I love you, too."

* * *

"He said that he loved you? Oh My Gosh! What did you say? What did you say?" Pippin bounced around in excitement. She hoped for the best. 

"I told him I loved him, too." Merry whispered. She was blushing, though beaming.

Pippin squealed and hugged Merry. "Ahh, I'm so proud."

* * *

"I'm goin' ta ask 'er ta marry me." Jack repeated. "I want you to be me best man, Will." 

Will checked for a fever. No fever. He couldn't find any other indication that might tell him that Jack was ill. Jack really was in love and really wanted to marry is bonnie lass. Will sighed. "There's no way I can talk you out of this, is there?"

"No Will, there isn't. I love 'er and wan' ta marry 'er."

That phrase was one of the only phrases Will thought Jack would never say in his entire life. He admitted defeat.

"Alright Jack. I'll be your best man."

"Oh, thanks mate. Ye won' regret this." He shook Will's hand and took off. Will only shook his head and went to his room.

"I'm already regretting it, Jack"

* * *

Two weeks later, the couple was having a very romantic dinner. Jack was more nervous then when he asked Merry to go to dinner for the first time. He ate slowly with shaking hands. He hoped she wouldn't notice. 

'_I don't know if I can do this.'_ He thought. _'What if she says no? I don't know if I can take that kind of rejection.'_ He starts to mentally kick himself. _'The only way I'll find out is if I ask.'_

After they ate, they await for desert. Jack pulls out a small box, sits it on the table, and clears his throat.

Merry looks up at the sound. She notices the box on the table and looks at Jack with confusion

He takes a deep breath and begins to speak.

"Merry, I love ye. Ye mean the world to me. When ye disappeared, it felt as if a part of me was missin'. I don' want that feelin' ta come back. I wan' ta spend me life with ye." Jack paused, getting down on one knee beside her.

"What are you doing?" She smacked herself in the head mentally. _'You know perfectly well what he's doing.'_ she thought.

"Merry?"

"Yes, Jack?"

He opened the box he had recently set on the table. Inside set a beautiful diamond ring. He looked at her with love and sincerity. "Merry? Will ye marry me?"

Merry nearly fainted from pure shock. It took her several minutes to recover. _'I couldn't have heard that right.'_ she thought. "Can you repeat that?"

"Will ye marry me?" He repeated, growing more sorrowful with each passing second that she didn't answer.

'_So this isn't some cruel dream.'_ she thought. A sparkle formed in her eyes and a smile on her lips. "Yes, Jack. I'll marry you!"

All the sorrow he felt had left him. He smiled his golden teeth while slipping the ring on his love's finger. Not long after the ring was on did they kiss, which seemed to last for hours.

They couldn't wait for the desert to arrive. They paid the check and headed home to break the good news to their friends.

Will sat in an armchair reading a book. Pippin and Mel sat on the couch watching a program on television. Pippin had her head on Mel's shoulder, almost falling asleep when the door opened.

Pippin sat up, suddenly wide-awake. She turned around, along with Mel and Will, towards the door and found Merry and Jack close the door behind them and looking very happy.

"How was dinner?" Will asked as he went back to reading his book.

"Do ye want to tell them or should I, luv?" Jack asked as his smile got wider.

"Tell us what?" Mel asked curiously.

"Well, your looking at an engaged couple. We're getting' married." Jack said, wrapping an arm around Merry's waist.

Somehow, both Mel and Pippin fell to the floor. Will didn't seem affected. He only muttered, "It won't last."

Pippin picked herself off the floor and brushed he dirt off herself. "You didn't just say you two are engaged, did you?" She said with wide eyes and excitement bubbling inside her.

Merry nodded gleefully.

Pippin squealed and hugged her. She was so happy that she started to cry. "I'm so happy." She sniffed and wiped tears from her eyes.

She looks over Pippin's shoulder and mouths, "Help me"

"Pip?" Merry whispers.

"Hmm?"

"I… Can't breathe." Merry gasped.

"I am so sorry!" Pippin immediately let go of Merry who almost collapsed to the floor, but catches her footing.

"It's quite alright." Merry straightens her evening clothes. "Just not so tightly next time. I kind of value breathing."

Pippin looks at her feet, feeling ashamed. Tears form in her eyes.

"Don't cry. I didn't mean to hurt your feelings." Merry began to feel guilty.

"I'm not crying!" The remark came out strong. Pippin races up the stairs and slams the door when she enters her room.

Merry sighs. "I'd better go talk to her." She walks up the stairs feeling more guilty by the minute. She couldn't believe she hurt her best friend. She turned the door handle to find it locked. "Pippin, please let me in."

"No!"

"Why?"

"I don't want to talk to you!" Pippin snapped.

That surprised Merry. Pippin has never snapped at anyone before. Merry became upset. "Alright. I'll leave you alone." She turned away from the door and went back down the stairs, trying to hold back tears. Pippin, one of the only people she could trust, was angry with her.

Jack saw the hurt in her eyes as she approached. "Luv?"

She walked past them not paying any attention to anyone. He headed straight for her room. Jack followed her while Mel went to Pippin's room, both looking worried.

Jack entered Merry's room, closing the door behind him. "Care to tell wha' the matter is, luv?"

"I screwed up. My best friend is mad at me and it's all my fault. I shouldn't have made that stupid sarcastic remark." Merry hugged a pillow to her chest. Tears began to stream down her face. "I screwed up." She repeated.

Jack set down beside her and gently pulled the pillow away. He inched closer and held her, stroking her hair as she cried.

Mel knocked on Pippin's door, knowing it was locked. "May I come in?"

"Go away!"

"Pippin! It's me, Mel. Let me in." It only took a couple of second for the lock to click and the door swing open. Pippin stood in the doorway with a tearstained face.

"What do you want?" Pippin immediately snapped.

"Only to talk. That's it."

Pippin moved aside so Mel could enter. Pippin then closed the door again, locking it. "This better be good." She sat down on her bed, crossing her legs.

"Why are you crying and why did you run off?" Mel set down beside her, looking very concerned.

"I'm upset. That's why I'm crying. And I ran so no one will see my tears."

"Who hurt you?"

"You know who. You where there."

"Ahh." Mel leaned in alittle closer. He almost whispered. "Do you know that that person is in her room crying because she hurt someone she considers a very close friend?"

Pippin shook her head. She began to feel bad about hurting Merry. She needed to go apologize.

Merry finally stopped crying, pulled away, and wiped her tears as best she could.

"Feelin' better, luv?"

She nodded. "Thanks."

Jack wiped what tears remained and kissed her lightly. "No need ta thank me." He looked into her eyes affectionately. "Ye know I love ye?"

"I do. I love you, too." She hugged him, laying her head on his chest. She closed her eyes and smiled. He wrapped his arms around her and rested his chin on the top of her head. She sighed. "I like this."

They held each other like this for several minutes until a soft knock was heard.

Merry groaned. "I don't want to move." She held on to him, still keeping her eyes closed.

Another soft knock came.

"That might be Pippin." Jack said, reluctantly letting go. He gave her another light kiss before she got up.

Before she could reach the door, a muffled Pippin's voice drifted through the door. "Merry? Are you in there?"

"I'm coming."

The door opened to a upset Pippin. She began to talk immediately. "Look, I'm sorry about snapping at you and running off. I just thought you said that to be rude."

"No, I'm the one that should be apologizing. That remark was unnecessary. Plus, I didn't mean for it to come out so offensive. Usually, my sarcasm never comes out like that." Merry lowered her head in shame.

"Well, I ought to know sarcasm when I hear it. I, at least, should take partial blame."

"We forgive each other?" Merry asked, looking hopeful.

Pippin nodded. "We forgive each other."

This time, it was Merry's turn to squeal. They hugged then jumped around in circles.

"Why females 'ave to jump in circles when they're 'appy is somethin' I'll ne'er understand." Jack mumbles, shaking his head and walking past them and out the door.

"Now what do you say to being my Maid of Honor?"

"Are you serious?"

Merry nodded.

"Oh, wow. Maid of Honor. I wonder what the dress will look like. I hope it's pretty." Pippin started daydreaming.

"Well, you'll just have to help me pick it out. I'll need your help anyway." Merry grinned.

Pippin's eyes grew wide. "First you make me a Maid of Honor, then you let me help with the planning. You are either insane or very brave."

"Hey, I value my friends' opinions." Merry said with sincerity.

* * *

The next couple of months, Merry and Pippin have picked out every thing for the wedding; everything from a location to napkins. The only things they didn't have order, or even fitted were the dresses. 

"I wish we did this before we picked out jewelry and shoes." Merry sighed, rubbing her forehead.

Pippin looked up from a bridal dress magazine. "It shouldn't be too hard. There are a lot of pretty dresses to chose from. I'm sure there are lots that would match the jewelry."

Merry threw aside the 5th bridesmaid magazine. "One more magazine left." She sighs. "There has to be one dress I could possibly get Ana into without to much of a fuss. I was surprised she liked the jewelry."

Pippin laughs. She set aside the magazine she was looking at and picked up another one. She only flipped through a couple of pages before stopping and gasping. "Oh, Merry. I think I found it."

"What?" Merry leaned over to see what it was. She nearly fell on top of Pippin. "I love you! I knew you would be a big help." Merry said. "The other stuff matches it perfectly. Even the neckline and train is what I want."

"I agree." Pippin wrote down the product number. "I hope they can get this down before next month."

"Oh, I think they can. You wouldn't believe what these people have come up with to quicken things. I'll probably take them no time to get the dress ready." Merry was on the last page of the magazine when she noticed the only dress she liked. "What about this one? Do you think Ana will wear it?"

"Are you crazy? She'd rather kill herself then wear something like that." Pippin laughed.

"Well, there's nothing else. Besides, nothing else I've seen even goes with the other stuff." Merry wrote down the product number and how many she wanted.

"I think it looks pretty." Pippin said, still looking at the dress. "Though, it would look more pretty in baby blue and it would match the shoes."

"Your absolutely right. What would I do without you." Merry wrote down the extra detail.

"How's it comin', luv?" Jack had snuck up behind the two, scaring them both. He laughed even when Merry turned around and smacked him in the arm playfully. "Well? Are we almost ready to set it all up?"

"Well, we just need to order the dresses in the right sizes and we are done getting everything together." Pippin said while finishing the order form.

"Did ye ask Ana to be a Bridesmaid?" Jack directed the question at Merry.

"I thought you were!"

Jack shook his head. "No, I asked you last week if you would ask her. I'm no' about ta get slapped again." He rubbed his cheek as if it was already hit while thinking about the last time Anamaria slapped him.

Only two weeks and a very long conversation later, the dresses had arrived and Ana had reluctantly agreed to be a bridesmaid. Although, she did not guarantee she would not slap Jack if he deserved it.

Only a week to go, the dresses all fit and the location almost completely decorated. Merry, Pippin, and Jack all visited the meadow to see how the preparations where coming along. Near the edge, the alter was completely done. It was decorated with the most beautiful arraignments of flowers. Circular tables were scattered all over. The last few where being set up and decorated.

"Are we even close to getting this rehearsal started?" Will asked impatiently. "Hold your horses, William. We're abou' ready. " Jack said, laughing. "If yer like this today, I can' imagine wha' ye'll be like tomorrow."

Will glared at Jack. He didn't like the idea of him actually setting down and married someone. He thought it was against Jack's nature. But what did he know. Jack kept a lot of secrets.

The rehearsal went smoothly, without any complaints from Will. He just stood there, arms folded and a sour look on his face. Soon after, he stormed off in a huff.

"What was that all about?" Pippin asked in confusion. Merry only shrugged.

He's probably just tired. I'm sure it's nothing." Jack said alittle worried. He wondered what was bothering him. Jack yawned. "I think it's 'bout time to ge' ta bed. I'll see ye in the mornin'." He headed to his room.

Morning comes and everything is frantic. Several people are doing the same thing at once. Some are trying to get to the bathroom first, some are rushing around the kitchen for food, etc.

In one room upstairs, Merry, Pippin, and Anamaria are trying to get their dresses on.

"Ya know, Jack'll fall over when he sees you. You look lovely." Pippin said, helping Merry zip up the dress.

"Thank you." Merry blushed a deep red. "You look lovely yourself. I personally thing I look like crap compared to you."

"Oh nonsense! You shouldn't be thinking that way. You are very pretty." Pippin reassured her.

Cursing, screaming, and a loud crash came from the bathroom. Both run and open the door to see Ana on the floor half dressed, the floor was litter with… well bathroom stuff, and there seemed to be alittle bit of blood on the floor as well. Ana was holding her arm and cursing under her breath.

"Are you alright?" Both ask at the same time.

"No I'm not bloody alright! I can't get the bloody dress on and I seem to have cut my bloody arm." Ana said crossly.

"How did you manage that?" Pippin asked as she helped her up.

"Well, I was hoppin' around tryin' to get the dress up, when I hit the mirror an' shattered it. I slipped, knockin' shit all over the place. My arm fell on a piece of glass and, well, that's when I got this." She held up her arm and there was a deep cut that ranged from her wrist to her elbow.

"Ouch!" Both Merry and Pippin cringe.

"That looks awful! Here I'll get the bandages and the ointment." Merry grabs stuff out of the cupboard.

"Well, there's no need to-"

"I insist. If that isn't cleaned and cover, you may get an infection." Merry sits down in front of Ana and hands her the stuff.

"I might need alittle help. I don' know wha' half this stuff is." Ana only looks at the stuff in confusion.

Merry helps her clean and dress the wound. Her whole arm is covered in bandages.

"Now I jus' need to figure out this bloody dress." She pulls it up again, but can't get it past her chest. Pippin laughs.

"You don't have it unzipped."

"Unzipped?" Ana looks confused.

"This thing here in the back." Pippin unzipped it for her. She pulled it up all the way and Pippin zipped it back up for her.

"Thank ye." Ana looks alittle embarrassed.

"Your welcome." Pippin said with a warm smile.

"You both look very lovely. Especially ye, Merry. I'm jealous. Jack is a lucky man." Ana sat down and tried to put on the shoes only to get irritated. I ought ta throw these out the window!"

"You have to undo the buckle." Pippin smiled, not trying to laugh.  
Ana finally manages to put the shoe on and finish getting ready.

"I now pronounce you man and wife. You may kiss the bride." The preacher announces with a smile.

Jack raises her veil. They make eye contact for a second before leaning in for the kiss. All the guests begin to clap. Pippin wipes a tear from her cheek. Will is surprisingly happy considering his behavior the past month.  
The newlyweds run out of the church and into the awaiting car while people throw rice at them.

Merry throws the bouquet and Anamaria catches it. She looks very confused.

"What the hell am I supposed to do with this? I can't sell it!"

"You can use it for your own wedding." Merry yelled out of the window.

_I hope the man upstairs _

_Isn't mad at me_

'_Cause I have one of his angels _

_And she's here with me_

_When I see her precious smile_

_And she spreads her wings_

_It takes me to a place where love_

_Meets eternity _

They held each other close as they danced their first dance. Around them, several couples also danced and not to far way was Mel and Pippin. They seem very happy to be together.

Jack looks at Merry and smiles.

"What?" She sees a flicker of something in his eyes.

"I'm just wonderin' if God is angry with me."

"Why?" She looks at him, worried.

"Because I have one of his angels, and I'm holding her right now."

"Now, now. No need for flattery, _Captain_ Sparrow." She said teasingly.

"And why not… Mrs. Sparrow? Can I not flatter my wife?" He smiles, knowing he's won. She only smiles back at him. That particular smile could probably be the only thing that could have tamed the infamous pirate. 'I could live forever knowing that smile was only meant for me.' He thought, his smile growing wider. 'Now I know Heaven is missing an angel.

_Not a day goes by_

_That I don't thank God for you_

_He blessed me with my angel_

_Though I don't deserve you_

_Until I found you girl_

_Lonely was my best friend_

_Now that you are in my life_

_I am stronger within_

'_How did I ever survive without her?'_ His smile doesn't fade, but he looks at her more strangely. _'A pirate like me doesn't deserve a girl like her. I truly am blessed.'_

"Jack? You're scaring me." Merry moved away from Jack alittle in fear. Her face began to pale and she looked around for any available help.

"Luv? What's the matter?" Jack got real worried. He had no idea what had frightened her so. He started to walk closer to her.

"You stay away from me! Just stay away! I mean it!"

Instead of stopping where he was, he kept advancing ever so slowly. He knew that if he rushed over to her, he would only scare her more. He grabbed her shoulders very gently, but she only struggled to break free. He tightened his grip and pulled her closer, holding her. After a few minutes, she stopped fighting him and laid her head on his chest. She knew he wouldn't hurt her even if his life depended on it.

She sighed.

Jack burst into the Captain's Quarters looking quite agitated. He dragged behind him a very silent girl. He had her by the ear. The girl wasn't screaming or yelling because she had her mouth tightly shut.

"Look who I found in the brig?" He nearly threw her into the floor. "A stowaway."

"Pip?" Merry was sitting with her legs under her on the bed when Jack had came in busting the door in with Pippin behind him. She set her feet on the floor. "What are you doing here? Didn't you say you wanted more time with Mel?"

"I didn't feel safe around him anymore. I think he doesn't care about me. Please don't throw me overboard."

"That's actually not a bad idea."

"Jack!" Merry said both outraged and surprised.

"Well? She doesn't belong here. I ought to turn this ship around and drop her off. That is, if I don't throw her into the sea first."

This really gets Merry mad. She grabs Pippin's wrist and pulls her out of the room. She wasn't going to take this kind of verbal abuse from him. The walk out onto the deck and over to the railing.

"Oh, come on, luv. I didn't mean it." Jack said as he rushed after them.

"Just… go and steer the ship or something." Merry snapped. Pippin only giggled.

Jack picked up his rum bottle, which sat near the helm, and walked over to the side of the ship. He was too far from where the two where standing and could hear every word they where saying.

"Now. Why did you sneak on board?" Merry asked, turning to Pippin.

"Like I said, I didn't feel safe around Mel anymore. I think he doesn't care about me. I'm alittle scared. "

'_Well, that's nothing new.'_ Jack thought.

"We had an argument." Pippin lowered her eyes.

Jack started to listen more carefully.

"You know you can rely on me, Pip. How did you get the idea that Mel doesn't care about you anymore though" Merry asks.

"He just doesn't want to be around me and when I say something he just leaves. I noticed one night he wasn't in his room when I went to talk to him." Pippin said sadly looking at her feet as she remembered.

"How can I help you feel better?" Merry asks. "How about we all ask personal questions so we all get to know each other better?" Merry suggested.

A faint splash and a high-pitched scream was heard and they both turned toward the sound. There was Jack leaning over the railing, trying to reach the water, screaming like a 5-year old. Both started laughing hysterically.

"Jack?" Merry said sweetly.

"What!" Jack had a murderous look on his face.

"What did you lose?"

"Me rum." He leaned over the railing again as if the bottle would jump out of the water and into his outstretched hand.

They just laughed and started to talk again.

Admitting defeat, he stood up and walked over to the girls, standing my Merry, who just ignored him.

"How do ye know he that he's not just being shy?" asks Jack shaking another bottle of rum in his hands and walking back up to the helm. "He's never been this shy before."

"Because every time I try to hug him he walks away form me and he's never once kissed me…ever. He used to hug me but since he came back from where the other Elves where staying he don't anymore. He can barely look at me."

"Ya eavesdropper!" Merry yelled after Jack. He only laughed. "I'm sure you've been kissed by other guys. So Mel never kissing you should be no big deal."

"Um, that's the problem. I've never been kissed by a guy before."

"I can help with that." Jack gets an inch from Pippin's face. She realizes what he's going to do, screams, and pushes him hard enough that he trips over a loose floor board and topples over the side of the ship and into the water.

Merry couldn't help but laugh. Pippin was on the floor, holding her stomach, and laughing so hard she couldn't breathe.

The rest of the honeymoon wasn't near as funny as this, but it was remember able enough that they where sure to tell their grandchildren one day.

Only they didn't have a home to come back to. Someone had bought it and told them hey had 2 weeks to clear out.

While Jack and Mel packed (unwillingly of course), Merry and Pippin went shopping for a house big enough for all of them. Near the end of the day and no luck finding a house, a strangely dressed man approached them and offered them a temporary place to live. Of course they agreed and headed home. Little did they know the house was located in the wizarding world.

_dun, dun, dun_


	2. Book one: Voldemort plus Pink equal Hell

_Sorry this is sooooo late. I've been lazy about typing this up and stuff. I'll try to be quicker about it but I won't make promises._

_Oh and one warning, there is cussing in this chapter so, if it offends you or you are too young to be exposed to it then don't read it. Thank you. _

_

* * *

Disclaimer is only on Prologue Part 1! Go there to read it, please, if you have not already. Plus- I do not own Johnny Depp or the title of The Harry Potter books or movies._

_AN: I just want to mention a couple things. One, this story doesn't really follow any of the story lines (Pirates of the Carribean, Harry Potter, or Lord of the Rings, etc.) I'm just borrowing some characters, which I don't own, mind you. Also, I got the idea for this from a RPG that a friend and I had started (Actually, it started as an RPG, but evolved into this). If anything doesn't make sense, email me or let me know in your review and I'll try my best in the next update to explain it. And, if this is too Mary-Sue, I am very sorry. I don't intend to write it that way. It's just supposed to be some stupid story with no real plot line. (AU and possible OOC)_

_**

* * *

Book one:**_

**Chapter One: Voldemort + Pink HELL!**

All the boxes had been delivered and they where put in there proper rooms. Merry and Jack had went to their room to unpack as much as they could that night. They climbed two flights of stairs before they arrived at the room they where given. It took them 2 hours just to unpack half of their boxes.

They grew tired and decided to settle down for the night. They fell asleep; sleeping close to each other and before they new it, they were being woken.

Merry opened her eyes to see two enormous blue eyes and large bat-like ears. She screams, sitting up and trying to get out of the bed. She only manages to scare the little creature and wake Jack slightly.

"Wick is sorry, Merry Sparrow. But Master as ask Wick to bring you down for breakfast." With that, the creature leaves.

She gets out of bed and starts to get dressed. She shakes Jack awake every 15 minutes but just mumbles something about Anamaria.

Soon, with Jack dressed, they found their way to the dinning room. They entered the room to find no one had started eating with out them.

"What took you so long?" Pippin said as she tried to keep Jacob from inhaling his food before they started.

"I had to convince Sleeping Beauty, here" Points to Jack "to walk up and get dressed." Merry said as she sat down next to Pippin. Pippin laughed at her comment.

Pick was terrified to sit at the table. His eyes kept darting from the owner of the house then to Merry and Jack and back at the owner.

"What's the matter Pick?" Merry asked. She could not help herself from wondering what was wrong.

"It's him!" He whispered. "That's the man that made me a slave."

"Ah, so that's Mr. Snape." Merry said.

Pick only looked at him in fear.

Through the rest of the meal, no words where said. Jack never once touched her hand as they ate, or talk to her about the previous night. He only sat there and ate. He looked as if he had something else on his mind to even notice what was going on around him.

After breakfast was over, Jack immediately went to their room and closed the door. Soon after, Snape left since he was only on Christmas break. Since Jack was locked in the room all morning, no one was able to play with the hobbits. Merry began to feel that his behavior was all her fault. Somehow, she even came to the conclusion that he had come to his senses and regretted marring her. She thought he never really loved her even though he told her so. Pippin tries to reassure her that he loves her still, but she completely ignores her.

By lunch, Jack came down into the kitchen. He opens his mouth to say something, but she only pushes past him, upset.

"What did I do?" He asked completely confused.

"She believes you have stopped loving her." Pippin began. She paused for a minute to see that Jack still had a confused look on his face. She sighs. "Since you have been in your room all morning, she got the idea that you are having regrets about getting married to her."

Jack just nods and walks into the living room where she had gone. He stood in the entranceway and leaned on the frame. He saw her sitting on the couch, listening to a radio that she had brought down with her. He remembered that she had watched a movie last night with Johnny Depp as a pirate. He faintly looked like himself. He tired to think of a line that she found amusing. "I know… Clap him in irons, right?" He said as he held out his hands as if to be handcuffed, and grinned slightly.

Merry looked at him, not the least bit amused.

"I'm sorry, luv. I didn't know. We can make it up by spending some alone time in our room later." Jack said as he sat down next to her and put his hand on her leg.

"It's not only that, Jack." She said as she brushed his hand off her leg. "You said Ana's name in your sleep this morning."

Jack looks at her as if she's insane.

"Why where you saying Ana's name?" Jack just looked at the floor guiltily. "Why, Jack?"

"It's no big deal, luv. I've only just stolen a boat from her. I swear. I'm beginning' ta start feel guilty 'bout it." Merry looks at him with a suspicious eye. Jack notices and starts to sweat. "I'm not cheatin' on ye, luv. I promise."

Pippin's voice could be heard from the kitchen, "You need something more convincing then that, Jack!" She yelled, sticking her head out.

Merry nodded.

Jack goes red in the face and storms out, muttering something about "Bloody women." before he slammed the front door behind him. They both look at each other in confusion and shrug their shoulders.

Only a fifteen minutes later, Merry went to check on Jack. He didn't come back in after their little fight. She stepped out onto the porch and found no one there. 'Maybe he took a walk to blow off steam or something.' She went back into the house and closed the door.

Several hours pass and the sun had set half an hour ago. Jack hadn't come back yet. Merry convinced Pippin to help her with the cleaning and together they got half of it done. They sat down to watch a movie, Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban, which, in fact was one of both Jack, Merry, and Pippin's favorite movie. They finished the movie and he still hadn't shown up. Merry was feeling restless and decided to wash the dishes just to pass the time.

The dishes where done and so was the vacuuming, dusting, and the rest of the house work that wasn't done already. She looked at the clock and noticed that it was already almost midnight. She let out a yawn and headed to the bathroom for a shower.

She dried her hair and brushed it before heading to her bedroom. She entered the dark room and noticed that something or someone was sitting on her side of the bed looking at a picture she kept on her night stand. She noticed that this was no ordinary person by the ears. They where pointed. He also had very long red hair that was very neat and slightly tied back. She didn't know if he spoke common tongue, so she decided to talk to him in Elvish.

"_Ya naa lle? Mani uma lle marne?_" Merry said a little panicked.

"You speak Elvish?" The elf asked, speaking perfect English.

"Yes. I do. Now answer my question. Who are you and what do you want?"

"Alright. My name is Handir. I come looking for a person named Merry. Have you seen her?"

"I am she." Merry said, grabbing a pair of pants out of the closet and putting them on. "Why are you looking for me? Has my husband done something?"

"About your husband, Mrs. Sparrow. When did you last see him?"

"Umm… Let's see." She things for a minute. "It was right around noon. We had a fight and he stormed out without a word as to where he was going."

"I see. So he would have much time to do to much damage." Handir said to himself, thinking. Merry looked at him strangely. "Ok, you need to come with me. Grab only wait you need. A weapon or two, and some extra clothes maybe. The others will be here soon."

"What? What's going on? What others?"

"I guess you have the right to know the basics. Your husband has been abducted by Lord Voldemort. I have asked 3 young wizards, who are quite powerful, to assist us as well as another elf who lives here. I'll be able to tell you more on the way, now hurry up. We do not have much time."

All Merry could think about is how on earth Jack could be abducted. But she did what she was told. While getting her things together, she asked, "Who are these people that are helping us anyway?"

"Well, Mel, of course."

"Yes yes, I knew that already."

"The others are Ronald Weasley, Hermione Granger, and Harry Potter." Handir said as he sat down on the bed.

"And when are we leaving exactly?" Merry closed her bag.

"As soon as the others arrive. That should be soon."

Only a couple of hours later, the rest of the group arrives and they are ready to leave. Only, Pippin is refusing to stay put.

"You know I could be a lot of help. Why can't I come along?" Pippin pleaded.

"I know you could, but I don't want you getting hurt. Besides, if you come along, who would look after Pick and Jacob?" Mel argued, getting a little mad.

"I don't know…"

"There. My point proven. Now stay here!" Mel hugged her for only a second or two before walking out the door.

Merry was talking to Pick while on her knees. "I want you to behave while I'm gone. Do you understand? If I come back and find out that you misbehaved… well, I don't know what exactly I'll do, but it won't be good." She hugged him tightly and kissed him on the forehead. "I love you." She whispered before leaving him. A single tear fell down his cheek.

The trip seemed to take forever even though they had only been on there for no longer then 24 hours.

"This ship takes too long. We should have taken a plane instead and been there by now." Merry said, pacing the length of the deck. She noticed that a rather weird shadow had appeared near the Captain's Quarters. She got closer to see what it was only to see the blue eyes of Pippin.

"What are you doing here? Didn't Mel tell you to say with the hobbits?"

"You know, as well as I, that I can't stay behind when my best friends are going on an adventure without me!" Pippin said as she flipped a piece of long, curly brown hair out of her face.

"But the hobbits!" Merry really started to freak.

"They're in there." Pippin pointed to the Cabin.

Just as that moment, several hundred greenish looking creatures climbed over the railing of the ship. If you looked closer, you could almost make out tiny scales all over they're bodies. They're hands and feet where both webbed and it seemed that they had gills on their necks.

When the had reached the deck, they immediately attack whoever was the closest to them.

Pippin looked around and slipped around the corner and appeared again with two bows and two quivers. She handed Merry one of each, then began firing, hitting several of the creatures in the head.

Several people looked around to see who was firing the arrow and looked at Merry, who was the only one in sight who had a bow and a quiver full of arrows.

"Nice shooting." Mel yelled with a wide smile.

"But I-" Merry could finish because Mel had turned around. She have the back of his head a evil look.

"If Jack was here, he'd be in so much trouble right now." Pippin said. She was standing right next to Merry, who jumped at the sound of her voice. Pippin looked at her like she was mad.

"Why did you hide? Now everyone thinks I'm the hero."

"I know. But I don't want anyone to know that I'm here. Please -" But before she could finish, one of the last water demons grabbed Pippin around the waist, and pulled her off the ship kicking and screaming.

Merry runs to the side just to see Pippin be pulled under the water. She freaks again and pulls off some clothing before attempting to jump and save Pippin. Only someone grabbed her arm before she could jump.

"I don't think that's a good idea, miss."

Merry looks to see a rather tall man with white robes and silverish hair. His skin was slightly pale, had familiar black eyes and hooked nose. He wasn't too bad looking, but was incredibly thin for someone his size.

"I've got to save my friend!" Merry said as she started to climb over the railing again. The stranger only pulled her back on the ship again.

"You'd kill yourself in the process. Do you want that?"

"No." Merry looked down on at her feet. She looked back up at him in confusion. "Why are you so concerned as to wether or not I jump?"

"I'm just a kind soul." Is all he would give as an answer.

She was silent as they just stood there. She then asked another question. "Do you know what those... things where?"

He nodded. "They're demons that have joined Voldemort."

On the other side of the ship, Ron shivered.

"Why would he want Pippin?"

"Is that the friend you where willing to die for?"

"Yeah."

"He would probably want her to lure you and/or Harry to him. He's been wanting to kill Harry for years. You, though. He'll probably want to kill you since you are getting in the way of what he's trying to achieve. I'd be careful, miss."

Merry looks at him for a minute, trying to figure him out.

"Can I ask you your name?"

"Sexton Septimius." He said, unwillingly. "But most people just call me Septimius, my middle name."

"Well, Septimius, I'm Merry." She smiles at him and shook his hand.

Septimius smiled back at her, his black eyes lighting up.

"Well, umm... Could you help us get to where ever Voldemort has Pippin. He seems to have another person I'm very close to also and I'd like them both back alive if possible." Merry said, concerned.

"Sure. I'd be more then happy to help." Septimius said, his smile growing wider and his eyes dancing. _'If only my brother agreed to come along.' _Septimius thought as they both walked to the helm.

The next day or so, they seemed to become fast friends. He had finally told her his last name was Snape and he was related to Severus, but wouldn't tell her the relation. He seemed to be more relaxed and had a sense of humor that Severus seemed to lack. They laughed about stupid stuff they've done while children. What Merry noticed was when Septimius laughed, his eyes danced fiercely.

'_Oh, boy. If Jack saw me now, he would throw such a temper tantrum.' _Merry thought. She decided that she wasn't going to mention this to Jack at all.

Merry noticed Septimius looked so much like Severus that she wondered if they were twins or something. Little did she know that she was absolutely right.

Finally, after sailing for 3 days, they had reached shore. Merry was the first one off the ship. She immediately dashed into the town not really knowing where she was going. All she needed to know was that she needed to get to her Jack and Pippin.

She had only gotten a couple yards when someone yelled _'Petrificus Totalus'_. She felt her arms and legs lock together and she fell to the ground.

Septimius had walked over to her, his wand still drawn, and kneeled down beside her.

"I am so sorry Merry, but we can't have you running off like that. We need you to help us. You need to be patient. Now, I'm going to release you from the Body-Binding spell I cast on you. Will you promise to not go running into danger again?" Septimius asked very gently.

Merry nodded as best she could and hummed a 'Uh huh."

He released her and grabbed her hand, helping her to her feet.

"How will we get there?" Merry blurted as soon as she was on her feet. "I mean, You-know-Who could have killed them already."

"I'm sure they both are fine. Why would the Dark Lord murder someone without gaining something in return?"

Merry only looked down at her feet and blushed.

"Now as for transportation." Septimius said in a raised voice so everyone could hear him. "I believe the best way to get to the Dark Lord's headquarters undetected is to use Muggle means of getting us there."

Handir and Mel both looked at him with a confused glare. "What, exactly, is a 'Muggle'?" They both chimed at the same time.

"A 'Muggle', gentlemen," Septimius said, gaining the professor image his bother always uses, "is us wizards' word non-magic people. Now, if you please. Could you all follow me. The Headmaster of Hogwarts, himself, has arranged the transportation for us." And with that, they had all boarded a bus that could take them to the next port.

* * *

As Jack awoke, he noticed he was in a very weird position.

_'Did I fall asleep leaning up against the wall again?'_ He thought. But he noticed that he couldn't move his arms or legs and that his weapons, hat, coat, and compass were all missing.

"Ok! What the bloody hell is going on?" Jack said to no one. He was starting to get slightly pissed off. He started to struggle a little with the ropes that where holding him to the ship.

Something leaned over the side of the ship and yelled at him.

"Hey! Stop movin', ya little maggot!"

Then another voice came.

"Ah! He's finally awake. About time. He's been out for almost a week now." A scream was hear and the two creatures turned around. "I see the girl has woken, too. Get her down to the brig! The Dark Lord has plans for her!"

The next thing he heard were footsteps moving away from the edge of the ship.

_'Ah. So I'm attached to a bloody ship!'_ He thought as he tried to get a better view of it. _'And, I didn't realize I was out for so long.'_ He thought over all the information he had gathered and then came across the girl that was there also. _'Who was that girl that was screaming? She sounded familiar.'_ He thought about it a little more and then realized... "Pippin!" His eyes bulged. "Oh God! Merry's gonna kill me!"

During his panic attack, he didn't notice a small group move toward the ship and behind then where more reinforcements. A long stream of elven warriors where approaching the ship and soon a battle could be heard on the deck. Several demons and elves fell off t he side of the ship.

'_Ok, this is just not right.'_ Jack thought. _'A battle on a ship and I'm not part of it. This world is definitely fucked up.' _He sighed and listened to the battle wage on until he felt himself drift off to sleep again. He nightmares about losing the people closest to him and he didn't yet realize that his feet where beginning to somehow turn to wood and fuse to the ship.

* * *

Before Merry could join the fight, she was assigned to find Jack and get him off the ship before it was too late, what ever that meant. She searched everywhere on the ship, killing anything that stood in her way.

After 2 full searches and a freak-out later, she stood at the front of the ship and was looking out wondering if there was any place that she didn't look. As she was thinking, she heard a soft moan come from below her and she looked down. There Jack was, tied to the front of the ship. What she noticed was that his feet had become fused with the ship and his legs now where slowly turning to wood. Her eyes widened and was about to call out when a hand touched her shoulder.

"Did you find him?" Handir asked.

All Merry did was point down to where she was looking and Handir looked. His eyes too widened in shock.

"Get him down and the both of you should hide. It's not safe for either of you to get involved in this." Handir said with a bit of fear in his voice.

"But-"

"No 'but's. Just do it!" He commanded.

Merry jumped and tried to untie Jack from the ship, but the ropes where done to tightly.

Only fifteen minutes later, she gave up and went in search of Pippin. She again searched everywhere twice except the Captain's Quarters.

Just as she was about to approach the doors, a massive group of demons blocked her path. They began to fire at her and, out of instinct, she ducked. She readied her own bow and aimed it at the things blocking her path.

"So it ends here." She then fired the first shot, hitting one right in the heart.

Forty-five minutes later and several bruises and cuts later, all the demons where defeated (with help from others, of course). She set down her bow and quiver and opened the doors to the Quarters and went in.

Only, to her amazement, she didn't find Pippin. She found herself face-to-face with Lord Voldemort himself. She was about to back out silently when she heard the lock click behind her and found that two red eyes where looking at her in amusement.

"I've been waiting for you. I knew you would come if I had my demons capture that friend of yours. Of course, you also brought along that retched Potter with you also. I knew you would. But, I didn't lure you here just to _chat_, now did I?" He points his wand at her and utters a incantation which fires a spell at her. She nearly got hit with it. He tried to hit her again with the spell, but she dodged that too. "We could stay here all day and play, but I believe my ship is almost done. Have a pleasant stay, Sparrow!" With that he disapperated out of the room, leaving the doors locked from the outside. (AN: Lame, I know, but I'll get better).

Merry just looked after him in confusion. What did he mean 'almost done'? She didn't understand. The ship looked done to her. But then she remembered what she had seen on the front of the ship.

_'No! That's not possible'_ She thought._'It couldn't.'_

Without warning, her eyes glossed over. She couldn't see a thing.

"What the hell?"

Images started to form in front of her, images of the ship. Nothing had changed except what was on the front. Where once was a very human looking Jack, now bore a wooden version while Voldemort stood a the helm. He looked almost happy. It was terrifying!

Her eyes began to clear again and the room came into focus. She immediatly fell to the floor, unaware that she was already crying. All she could thing about was losing Jack. She buried her face in her knees and stayed like that for what seemed like hours.

Soon, a voice seemed to whisper in her ear. It kept whispering untill she would listen. She didn't want too. She just wanted to stay there and cry, but the voice wouldn't give up. As soon as she would listen, it told her what she needed to do. It told her how to reverse the process of the ship; completed or not. Only one catch. It would cost half of her being.

She stood up, forcefully wiped the tears from her face and marched toward the doors. They were still locked.

"Damn it!" She yelled, kicking the door. She looked around for anything to use that would be strong enough to break it down. She couldn't find anything heavy enough.

The noise from the room had gotten the attention of Septimius. What also got his attention was that Voldemort was no longer in the cabin the noise was coming from; instead he was standing at the helm looking quite pleased.

He made his way over to the doors and unlocked them only to have them flung in his face. Merry had forced the doors open as soon as she heard the lock click. She put so much force into opening them that they had bounced off the walls. She didn't even notice that Septimius was in the way of the flying doors.

She made her way over to the helm where the Dark Lord was standing. She had a look of pure determination on her face. With no fear shown on her face, she called out.

"VOLDEMORT!"

The Dark Lord turn, slightly surprised at first, then a small smile and a look that said "I'm planning something you won't like" replaced the surprise. He knew she would try to play the hero and had a plan to use that to his advantage.

"I've got a proposition for you!" Merry said, her voice still sounded determined, but she felt a little disbelieving. _'I hope this works.'_

"Yes?" The Dark Lord said as he raised a thin eyebrow.

She sighs. "My Elvish blood in exchange for my husband, Jack." All she can do now is wait for his answer. As she watches his face, she notices that he's not only thinking over the offer and she's right.

The offer isn't the only thing he's thinking about. Oh sure, he's thinking about the possibility that she may not keep her end of the bargain. What else that's going on in his head is how to use this new item. How could he use it to bring down The-Boy-Who-Lived and all that helped him? A plan started to form in his head.

"Alright! You have yourself a deal." He extends his right hand to shake on the deal. She only looks at him in confusion and suspicion. The Dark Lord only rolls his eyes. "It's to seal the deal. It's also a way to transfer what you're giving up. Understand?"

Instead of just responding, she took his hand. Only, it wasn't a normal hand shake. A glow surrounded their hands. Neither one could pull away since their hand where fused.

Merry became surprised by this and look up. Voldemort seemed to look only bored. Just then, she felt as if all her energy where being drained from her body and became dizzy. She decided to watch the unfolding battle around her. With every demon that seemed to be slain, several more seemed to appear, but the others seemed to be fighting them off fairly good enough. Most came out with only small gashes and bruises.

She spent several minutes watching her friends fighting and almost didn't notice the feeling of something being transferred into her.

_'What's he playing at? This wasn't part of the deal!'_ She thought as she felt herself become dizzy again. But before she could think more on the subject, she had passed out. She didn't stay awake long enough to notice that The Dark Lord had also colapsed.

As if on cue, a figure had jumped over the side of the ship and just stood there. His face was hidden by both his hat and shadow. Though most of him was hidden in shadow, some of his attire was visible and from the look of it, he seemed to be a sailor. A somewhat _fierce_ sailor. Sheathed on his hip was a rapier and in his sash and belt was a pistol. From what hair was visible, it was a long dark brown with various beads. Only the lower part of his face was showing and bore a frown, almost a sneer.

A couple of demons, finally noticing the intruder on their master's ship, ran towards him and attacked.

Without warning, the shadowed figure withdrew his sword and, with one motion, decapitated the advancing demons.

The last of the remaining demons fled of either the shadowed man that would surly kill them or of their master's wrath.

Who was left on deck looked toward the shadowy figure in suspicion and amazement. They weren't sure if the stranger wanted to kill them also or to help them and when he did not come forward immediately, Handir approached and spoke.

"Who are you?"

The figure stepped forward into the light, revealing who he truly was."Jack?" Mel blurted.

"Where is he?"

"Jack, Who are you-"

"Voldemort! Where. Is. He."

Mel only looked toward the direction that The Dark Lord was laying. But, that wasn't what had caught Jack's eye.

What lay not far from where the fallen wizard lay, was what looked like a small child. Her hair was long and incredibly curly, her feet looked like they had grown to much and had hair that was the same color as the hair on her head, which was curly also. Not far from her body were ripped shoes, though they looked too small for the child's feet.

Forgetting his anger toward Voldemort, Jack had run to his wife's side and fell to his knees, pulling her into his arms and rocking her back and forth.

"Don't leave me. Please, don't leave me." He mumbled into her ear, the first of many tears started to fall down his face. After a couple of minutes, he finally calms down enough to stop rocking. He wipes away the tears and pulls away alittle to get a good look at Merry's face. "Luv, don' leave me now. Ye're the only one that can help me with Pick. Ye know me better then anyone and know that I can't look after meself, let alone a young halfling. Who else could help me." Jack wiped away the new tears away. "How can I live with meself if I know I couldn't save you. I can't lose you... You're worth more to me then all the gold in the world. Merry?" He puts a hand over her mouth and then presses slightly on her neck. No sign of breath or a heartbeat. All he could think of to do was to hold her against his chest and start rocking again.

The others had all grouped in one spot and giving the grieving pirate room. No one would have known what to do in this kind of situation anyway.

Pippin, who was locked down below somewhere, had snuck back up and had started toward the group. She wasn't sure what was going on so she walked a little faster. She was about to ask a question when she saw exactly what was going on. Her eyes filled with tears as she saw her best friend laying lifeless in her husband's arms. Pippin turned and ran down below deck again, not being able to stand to look any longer.

Mel had noticed that Pippin had seen what happened and went after her. He figured she didn't need to be alone right now and need someone to comfort her.

ThoughJack didn't really want to believe she was gone, he layed her down gently. He then stood, anger showing on his face, and started to rant.

"The son of a bitch! The bastard just couldn't resist killin' 'er, could he? Sadistic bastard! I hope regains conscienceness soon. I'll beat the livin' shit out of 'im! An' I don' care 'bout the 'Prophecy'!" He said as Harry, Ron, and Hermione all opened their mouths. "He'll wish he never met Captain Jack Sparrow! I swear on all that is good in this world that he'll fucking pay for what he took from me!" Through out the rant, most had moved back more to avoid being caught up in whatever violence that the pirate might show. They did not want to find out the full extend of his rage.

Since Jack was in full rant and cuss mode, he never once noticed that Merry was opening her eyes and trying to sit up and looked like she as in a lot of pain.

"Jack? What's all the yelling for?" She asked, her voice weak. She stayed laying down instead of trying to sit up. She slowly moved to her side, laid her head on her arm and watched her husband rant and rave. She figured she'd wait 'till he was done to talk. He was yelling loud enough that she didn't think anyone would have heard her anyway.

Just 20 minutes later, Jack stood near the railing, huffing. He had a look of rage and slight insanity. Merry only smiled.

"Finish your rant, yet? I was beginning to think you were going to go on forever, though I don't mind waiting until you've finished."

Everyone turned toward her, looking taken aback or surprised. No one was more surprised then Jack.

For a minute, he just looked at her. Several times, he opened his mouth to speak, but nothing came out. Instead, he slowly walked over,fell tohis knees, and helped her sit up. He cupped her face, rubbing her cheeks with his thumbs, and just stared at her.

"You're not a figure of my imagination, are ye?" A single tear ran down his cheek.

"As far as I know, I am very real." She said as she wiped the tear away.

Without a second thought, Jack had launched himself into a passionate kiss. If you ever believed that these two did not loved each other, this kiss would have told you differently. It lasted nearly 5 minutes before they decided brake the kiss.

When they did break the kiss, they rested their forehead on the other. Jack, again, was rubbing his wife's cheek with his thumb. He, then, went to finger through her hair, but noticed that her hair had changed since he last saw her.

"Did you get a perm? Jack asked, looking confused.

"Jack," Merry began, but he was already looking her over.

"What happened? I mean, your so... so..." He was starting to get scared. "What did you do?"

"I'm sorry, Jack. But there wasn't any other way." She apologized, watching Jack getting more scared and confused. "I have away my elvish blood." She expected him to freak out and prepared herself for it. But he only nodded and continued investigating the changes like a little kid with a new toy. He finished the investigation with her feet.

"A hobbit. A full blooded hobbit." Jack said over and over again, trying to get used to the idea.

At the moment, Pippin had decided to rush up on deck. She immediately saw that Merry was in fact alive and sitting up. She ran over, hugged her best friend, nearly knocking her over, then pulled away. She back up alittle and looked Merry over. She noticed how much Merry had changed and freaked.

"What? How?" She gave Jack a dirty look.

"Hey! Don't look at me. It was all her!" Jack said, pointing to Merry.

"What did you do?" Pippin asked, looking stern.

"I gave Voldemort my Elvish heritage for the life of my husband! It was the only way." Merry explain as she let Jack help her up.

"Oh." Pippin said, feeling a little embarrassed. She looked, though, like she still really didn't understand why Merry would want to give up her Elvish blood.

As they both observed Merry, they where shocked at her height.

"Luv! Your short."

"You can't be any taller then Pick. Probably alittle shorter then Jacob."

Merry really was incredibly short. She could easily pass as a small child.

"Merry, I am truly very sorry."

"What are you talking about, Jack?"

"I'm talking about what happened. I shouldn't have stormed out. My temper had gotten the better of me. If it hadn't, none of this would have happened. I wouldn't have been kidnaped, you wouldn't have to come after me and drag these people along, and you wouldn't have lost half of yourself and become a full blood hobbit." Jack looked really unnerved about what had happened.

No one could really resist the urge to listen in on the conversation and they had to agree. It was partly his fault that she came along and got herself involved. But Jack was taking all the blame.

"This isn't entirely your fault, Mr. Sparrow." Harry had spoken up.

"That's Captain Sparrow, if you please, kid. Savvy?" It was a pet peeve of his that someone would forget to include the Captain to his name.

"Fine, Captain. But it's really not your fault. Yes, you shouldn't have stormed off and Merry wouldn't have followed. But, this would have happened anyway. Voldemort was waiting for the perfect time to put his plan into affect. How many pirates do you think are alive today?"

"Potter's got a point, Jack. This _was_ inevitable." Merry said, squeezing her husband hand. She got up and moved closer to the Dark Lord. "Maybe we should do something with him. You know, keep him from doing anymore damage for a while." She had kicked him a couple of times while she spoke.

Everyone started to think of ways to torture and/or humiliate the nutjob of a Lord. 10 minutes pass and Merry hears a muffled croak. She looked around and couldn't find anything that made a croaking sound. Again, another croak. The only thing she found was Jack's hat laying on the floor. But when she went to pick it up, it **jumped**!

She lifted up the hat and only found a lumpy bandana, which moved. With the hat not muffling the sound, the croak sounded a lot like 'Savvy'. Removing the bandana, Merry found a frog. But this was no ordinary frog.

This frog had eyes the color of chocolate and rimmed with kohl. It also had a mustache and beard. The beard was sectioned into two braids and had very tiny beads at the end of them.

"Ok, very funny! Let's turn the emotionally stressed pirate into a frog and see what happens."

No one spoke.

Jack hopped away, occasionally croaking 'Savvy' as he passed.

Mel had emerged from below deck at that time and started walking in the direction of were Pippin was standing. Though he didn't pay any attention to the frog that was sitting in his path and almost stepped on him.

When the frog say the large foot coming down on him, he began to scream "Parley, parley, parley." as loud as his little frog lungs would allow him and jumped out of the way of the foot.

Mel looked down in the direction the screams was coming from.

"Is that a frog?" He asked in astonishment.

"Well, it's Jack. Just. . . smaller. . . and green." Merry explained as she began to chase the frog.

As she chased, trying to scoop him up, Pippin was wondering around the deck not paying any attention to where she was going. Somehow the frog had gotten under foot and was almost stepped on. Instantly, he cried out 'Parley' until he was safe from her feet.

Merry ran after the frog for 15 minutes before he fell to his side and started twitching. A couple seconds later, he was back to his human form and falling into sobs. He curled into a ball to muffle the now falling tears.

Merry slowly approached him and knelt down. She touched his arm, but he jerked it away. So, instead, she spoke softly to him.

"Jack?"

He hears her fimilar voice and uncurls enough to look up at her. He blinks for a minute, thinking, then launches himself at her, crying a bit on her shoulder.

"Jack, luv? Are you alright?" Merry became alittle concerned.

"I'm a frog! I'm a fucking frog and I can't change back!" He complained.

"No, you're the pirate I married."

"What?"

"Here."

She lifted up one of his hands and showed it to him.

"Would a frog have a human hand?"

At first, he looked at her like she was insane. But then, he looked at his hands and found that they were normal along with everything else.

As he looked himself over, Merry thought she saw a shadowy figure near the Captain's Quarters. She blinked, and the image was gone. She got up and went to investigate. She looked around all the shadowy places, but nothing came up.

She then turned and was about to walk back to were Jack was still sitting, but she found him surrounded by people.

"Are you all right?" Harry asked.

"It was wicked, wasn't it." Ron said.

"What was it like? Did it hurt?" Pippin questioned enthusiastically.

"Tell us everything!" Mel demanded.

Jack opened his mouth to speak, but a hand touched his shoulder gently. He closed his mouth instantly.

"I think it's time you all let him have some time alone. He's been through a lot lately." She helped him up, grabbed his hat and bandanna, and led him to the cabin.

"Awww!" Was heard as they entered their rooms

Jack entered first, with Merry, still holding on to his hat and bandanna, left to close the door. She remembered that the 'head gear' had fallen off and looked at Jack. She noticed a couple features that she had never noticed before. First, he had pointed ears. And second, there was a birthmark on his forehead in the shape of the elvish letter for 'M'

"Um ... Jack? Is there something I need to know?"

Jack looked at her like he had no idea what she was talking about.

"No, why?"

"Because your ears have become pointed and there's this tattoo or something on your forehead." Merry said, getting a little hysterical.

Jack sees his bandanna on the bed and his eyes get wide. He begins to thing of an excuse to not explain.

"You see... um... there's this-"

"OUT WITH IT!"

"I'manElvishDemon." Jack says all at once.

"Excuse me? I didn't understand that." Merry said as she raised an eyebrow.

"Jack took a deep breath.

"I'm an Elvish Demon." Jack said with a sigh.

"What's an Elvish Demon?"

He explains the basic things about the specific demon. He explains the culture, diet, life span, and language. He then confesses that he hasn't been able to speak the language since he was real little.

"But... Why haven't you told me about this before? I mean, you're so much like the other elvish race."

"Well, I didn't tell you because I was afraid you would make fun of me like you did my middle name." He said, his eyes downcast.

"But Sue is such a funny name for a pirate like you." Merry said grinning from ear to ear.

Jack just sighs and continues.

"And, no, I'm not like the other race. Our habits and culture are different, our power, even our diets are different."

"Power?"

Jack then turned into a frog, croaked up at her, then turned back. He looked at her then noticed that she had sat down on the bed, eyes wide.

"The reason I was so freaked earlier was because I couldn't turn back to normal."

She didn't move.

"Luv? Are you all right?" He knelt down in front of her and put her hands in his.

She blinded and looked down at him.

"What?"

That precise moment, Pippin burst into the room waving a piece of parchment in the air. She handed it to Merry.

"I found it on You-Know-Who and thought you needed to read it."

Merry looked at her, then began to read:

_**'When the love of the pirate intended sacrifices the being of his/her self, he/she becomes full blood of the second half.**_

_**On the full moon, the person will become full blood of that in which was given away. **_

_**By the third moon, the blood will go back to it's rightful owner if that blood is not destroyed.'**_

"Ok? That was put strangely. At least you get the blood back." Pippin said encouragingly.

"Yeah, if Voldemort doesn't destroy it by then." Merry said, a hind of anger in her voice.

Pippin leans over Merry's shoulder and rereads the parchment again."Do you think Voldemort will try anything with it while he has it?"

"I don't know what he will do." Merry rereads it again, also. "Three moons. Three months of hobbitness and only a couple days of elvishness. This is going to be rough." Merry said, strangely calm.

"She's so short! I'll have to help her with the high to reach things, I guess." Jack said, sighing.

Merry just nodded and leaned into him.

Just then, loud laughing came through the door. Pippin got up and poked her head out of the door to see what was going on. She watched for a couple of minutes and turned around.

"You have to to see this. I think you'll find it funny."

Voldemort, the darkest wizard of the present time, was tied up. It looked like the others were having a bit of fun with the advantage that they had. The Dark Lord had hot pink hair and cornrows.

"What should be do now? It's got to be either humiliating or painful, but if it's painful, it can't kill him. I just want him to suffer. Harry said with hate in his voice. He had his wand pointed straight at Voldemort's heart.

Jack, Merry, and Pippin, at that point, had joined the rest of the crew surrounding Voldemort. They all had been affected by the wizard and felt some anger toward him. Jack was the only one to come up with an idea.

"What about Voodoo torture? It's a pretty well known practice. I learned of it in an African village."

Within seconds, a doll had appeared at his feet. He picked it up and found the pins already in it.

"I guess I get to do the honors." He took the pins out. "Here goes nothing."

He stuck the first one in the eye. Voldemort let out a scream that would have put an eight year old girl to shame. Jack just grinned. He poked another pin into the chest and listened to the screams.

But something was wrong. Something didn't feel right. He looked up and there stood Voldemort, one eye glaring while the other bled. His wand was raised and pointed right at Jack.

He was about to mumble an incantation when someone or something collided with Voldemort, knocking him over. The object began beating the wizard.

"That's for pirate-napping Jack," It punched him in the face. "and that's for tormenting Merry," it kicked him in the leg and groin. "and that's for capturing me and keeping me in a nasty cell!" It poked him in his good eye.

While the thing was attacking the tyrant, Merry grabbed the voodoo doll and ripped the arms, legs and head off of it. Just a second later, the limbs had detached themselves from Voldemort's torso, all while Voldemort was screaming. When it first started, the object squeaked and fell back into the light, reveling Pippin.

"Cool!" Jack and Merry said at the exact same time.

"Did you know that would happen?" Pippin asked, starting to hyperventilate.

They both shook their heads.

"Do you think he's dead?" Pippin asked, poking the leg with her foot.

"Doubt it." Harry said. "He always manages to come back somehow. Dumbledore and I both think that he had made Horcruxes to keep himself immortal. Let's just throw the parts into the water and not worry about it."

Jack, Handir, and Mel picked up the pieces and threw them in the water. They gargled all the way to the bottom.

A faint cry of pain was drifting up to the deck. People were looking around to find where the cry was coming from, but no one was found.

The cry came again, sounding more in pain.

"I know that voice!" Merry claimed and took off down below deck.

"Merry!"

"Luv!"

Both had darted after her. They looked all over below deck. They found her in the last place they looked, sitting on the floor, holding on to someone with bloody robes.

"He needs help. He's bleeding too much. I took the weapon out of his shoulder, but that's all I could do." She had fear and tears in her eyes.

Pippin walked over and sat down next to Merry. She didn't say a word as she closed her eyes, concentrating. Soon a... faint glow appeared around the wounded shoulder. As it brightened, the wound would get smaller. After a while, the glow dimmed and the wound had healed to a pink scar. Pippin relaxed and opened her eyes.

The wizard opened his eyes and looked around at the three people surrounding him. Merry helped him as he tried to sit up. He put a hand on his shoulder to see how bad the wound was, but only found the scar.

"It's healed." The wizard said in surprise. "No potion or anything."

"Well, this is really good with healing magic." Merry said pointing to Pippin. She turned to Pippin and mouthed a 'Thank You' . Pippin nodded.

The wizard looked at the two others in the room, then turned to Merry.

"Who are they?"

"Oh! This" Merry nodded to Pippin. " Is Pippin Elfhelm. The one I tried to 'kill myself' for. And that," She gestured to Jack. "Is Captain Jack Sparrow. My husband."

"Who the hell is he?" Jack blurted.

"My name is Septimius."

Jack gives him an evil glare.

"He's just a friend." Merry said hastily. "He was one of the only ones that would talk to me while the others were busy. Which was most of the time."

"Well, Miss Pippin, Merry, I owe you both my life." Septimius said, standing. He wobbled a bit, but Pippin steadied him. "Thank you." He picked up his wand and put it in his pocket.

They followed him up to the deck, helping him steady whenever he wobbled. When they finally reached the deck, everyone immediately went quiet. They all watched Septimius, kind of surprised the find out it was him screaming.

Jack, instead of helping keep Septimius stay on his feet, stormed of towards his rooms. Merry, either hadn't cared or hadn't noticed that her husband was having a jealous fit, helped Septimius sit near the helm of the ship.

"I think," She said to the person at the helm. "it's time to go home." She turned to Septimius and smiled. "You can stay there and rest if you like. I'll show you to your room as soon as I'm through with some things." Then she was off towards the cabin to unknowingly deal with Jack.

"I don't feel like going back just yet." Mel whined and pouted.

Pippin just stared at him, dumbfounded.

* * *

1) '_Ya naa lle? Mani uma lle marne?'_ which means 'Who are you? What do you want?'

Please review. I love reviews!

I have chapter two done and is ready for revision, but I will probably not post it unless I know that the people who are reading it want to read more. I've only got 2 reviews. If you want the story to go on, please, I am begging you, review and let me know. I would love to here from you. If I don't get any more reviews, it saddens me to inform you that this WILL BE DISCONTINUED. So I am begging you to review.


	3. Book One: What Large Fangs You Have

_Disclaimer is on the Prologue. That's where it'll stay, so if you want to know what it says, then that's where it's at._

_I'm soooo sorry about the awfully long wait for this. . . that is if you have been waiting for this. I have been procrastinating like mad, then I started working and I procrastinated more. So, here's the chapter, the full chapter. And it's extra long for you as well. I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it._

_**Chapter 2: What Large Fangs You Have!**_

Pippin awoke to the thought that last night's discussion was only a dream. She looked around the room, not remembering right away where she was. She rubbed the sleep from her eyes and surveyed the room that she was in.

He room was a bit dark as there was only one window to allow natural light to shine in. There was no carpet to soften the floor; there was only a hard wood floor. As Pippin surveyed the room, she noticed that there was not all that much decoration. The only thing that occupied the room was the furniture; a bed that she was sleeping on, a dresser that had her clothes in, and a writing desk that was, surprisingly, clear of clutter.

She slowly began to remember what had happened before she had fallen asleep. Mel had told her something shocking, but she could not remember it.

Mel, at hat precise moment, had come into the room looking very upset. He walked slowly into the room and he had his head hung. Pippin noticed almost immediately.

"What's the matter?" Pippin looked very concerned for him.

"I don't want to leave." Mel whined. "I like the fact that we are on a ship. It's quiet enjoyable." He didn't sound very convincing. Pippin just shrugged it off, but she did gawk at what he had said.

"You don't want to go home?" She was in utter shock.

Mel shook his head. He didn't trust his voice right now. He didn't want to tell her the reasons why he didn't want to return to the mansion, so he made up some excuse like liking the feel of a ship to keep his other reasons from her. He liked Pippin, but not enough to ask her to marry him. He saw her more as a friend then as a partner. He just wasn't ready to tell her right now, so he kept his head lowered.

Pippin became so shocked that she fainted.

Mel, though, was so depressed that he didn't seem to notice that his girlfriend had passed out form pure shock. It was either that or he just didn't seem to care.

Sunlight poured into the Captain's Quarters and shone right onto the bed where two figures seemed to be still asleep. One figure looked like a full grown man while the other looked like his child had crawling into his bed during the night. The light shining in seemed determined to wake one particular person in general.

Merry shifted and let out a soft groan as she realized that the sun was shining on her face. She opened her eyes slowly as her eyes were not yet adjusted to the bright morning light. As her eyes adjusted, she slipped her foot out from under the covers and looked at it. She wiggled her toes while just staring at it. As she stared at it, she came to the conclusion that she was just going to have to get used to the idea of being a hobbit for a while.

What brought her out of her thoughts was the movement of something around her waist. She knew it wasn't her moving because she had nothing that should be moving on it's own near her waist. She then realized that she felt something, like an arm, on her waist. She felt around her waist, and there was in fact a arm draped around her. She got a little nervous as to whom would have their arm around her.

She turned around slowly so she wouldn't wake the person beside her. When she finally settled on her other side, she was relieved to see Jack sleeping peacefully.

She really didn't want to wake him for several reasons. One being that he had been through quite a bit the last couple weeks, that and she thought he looked cute when he was asleep.

Several minutes pass as she watched him sleep. It seemed like hours to her as she watched him. As she watched him sleep, she seemed to realize how much she loved how he slept. _**(insert how he sleeps)**_ Before she knew it, she found a pair of chocolate brown eyes open and stare back at her. She couldn't help but stare right into them; she found them hypnotic and beautiful. She didn't seem to notice the sleepy smile that spread across his lips.

"Enjoyin' tha view, luv?" Jack said with a groggy voice. He noticed that Merry was looking at him, confused. "Ye were watchin' me sleep." He said through a laugh.

"Couldn't resist. You're cute when you sleep." She said as she leaned in for a kiss. They broke apart long enough to smile at each other and for Jack to look over the appearance of his wife to make sure that yesterday's events were not just a dream. Soon after, they leaned in again for a much longer kiss. Jack stroked Merry's check as the kiss deepened.

Just then, the door was flung open and a small, brown haired person stood in the doorway. Her brown fox-tail flipped slowly behind her, the fox-ears at the top of her head twitched, and her gargoyle-type wings flexed. She tapped her long fingernails on the side of her face as she thought. Then, her green, with gold specks, eyes flashed with an idea.

"I'll go get the whipped cream!" She said as she spread her wings for a second. She turned on her heel and left the cabin without another word.

Both lay frozen in mid kiss, too shocked to move. Jack broke the kiss and turned onto this back in a bit of a huff. He wasn't to thrilled about being interrupted when he was sharing a rather nice moment with his wife. He sighed while he stared up at the ceiling and asked in a bit of an upset voice, "Did you know someone would be coming in here this morning?"

"No. Did you?" She asked, not liking the way Jack was acting at the moment. She just figured he was upset about being interrupted.

Jack just shook his head no and then turned back onto his side. He smiled a small smile while touching Merry's cheek. "Would you have any idea who that might have been?"

It was Merry's turn to shake her head. "But I'll try to find out. I can talk to Pippin. She might know. I know that voice was not familiar at all, so it has to be someone we've never met before." Merry muttered. She slowly crawled out of bed and patted towards the door as fast as she could. She couldn't go very fast since she was quite shorter then she used to be. Though it took her a lot longer to get out of bed since Jack kept grabbing a hold of her.

When Merry finally left the room, Jack rolled back onto his back again and drifted back to sleep unknowingly. After what seemed like only a couple of minutes, images started to flash before him in a random order. For a while, he couldn't make out the images that where flashing by. Soon, they started to slow down and one moving image started to move into his view. It was of two toddlers that looked identical except one was a girl and they other was a boy.

It seemed the little boy had caught his attention first. He was screaming at the top of his lungs. It was a wonder the child didn't go blue from the non stop screaming.

"MOMMY! I WANT MY MOMMY!" The child screamed for the billionth time in 5 minutes. The boy had jet black hair, blue eyes, and very tanned skin just like Jack. Then it dawned on him that these where his children. At that point, Merry finally came into the room and picked up the screaming child. Immediately, the child's screaming turned into whimpers.

He began watching mother and child when he noticed something off about _his_ bonnie lass. She looked worn down, pale, and lacking sleep. This concerned him, but what started to worry him more was that he didn't see himself anywhere.

Another screaming voice broke him out of his thoughts and observations. He turned to where the voice was coming from to realize that the other toddler was there. Even though she was screaming, it wasn't in the same language as her brother was screaming. This one was screaming in _ELVISH_!

"ADA! IM ANIRONIN ADA!" the girl yelled with more volume and lung power then her brother.

"They lass can speak Elvish! Merry must have taught her that." Jack exclaimed with both shock and pride.

Since his girl was calling out for him, he knelt down to pick her up. Instead of being able to place his hands underneath her arms, his hands when right through her as if she were a ghost or a hologram. He started at her in confusion and disappointment.

"Why can't I pick up my own child?" He asked himself. As he was staring at her he noticed how similar they both looked. Even though he knew she probably would not hear him, he started to talk to her softly. "Do ye know 'ow much ye look like yer daddy?"

Almost as soon as the words left his mouth, a loud bang pierced the somewhat silent room. Jack instinctively threw himself over the girl in hopes she would not get hurt. But, as he raised his head when he thought it was safe, he saw that he was alone on what seemed to be a pirate ship. Another shot fired behind him which made him jump and turn around quickly. What he saw when he turned around was two teenagers that looked very familiar standing by a cannon. The two teenagers were boy and girl twins which, to Jack, looked to be the same twins that he just seen screaming.

The girl had long black hair in tiny braids and white highlights. She was wearing tight black cotton pants, silk shirt that cuts around the shoulders, a waist corset that ties in the back, and knee high boots. Her brother wore something close to what his father wears. The same dirty white shirt, same faded brown pants, and the same leather brown boots. There was no bandana on his head nor was there a vest. He did wear a sash, just not the same color as his father's. His was a dark green. . . or at least it would be if it wasn't faded. He also wore a jacket a lot like Will Turner's. Though, the boy's hair style was very strange for the time era that they where in, he was sporting it 200 - 300 years early. The boy's hair was fashioned in an afro.

Jack was utterly shocked to see that his two toddlers were standing right in front of him.

Soon enough, the cannon was fully loaded and the boy had fired it off grinning like the Cheshire cat. The cannon ball hit the enemy's ship and left a hole large enough that a fully grown man could fit through.

As he stood there, he discovered that he was shocked that his two children had become pirates. A mixture of pride and concern filled him. The more he watched his kids fire the cannon and laughing hysterically, the more concerned he became.

Then, suddenly, he felt himself being shaken and woke up with a start. All he saw was the blue and purple eyes of his wife's eyes since she was only 2 inches from his face. Instead of seeing Merry, he saw the face of Voldemort. He immediately pushed her off of him, jumped out of bed, and draws his sword on her. He started to lunge at her and yelled, "Die, ye villainous asshole!" But, before he could take one step, a loud rippling noise came form behind him.

He immediately turned around, looking for who or what had made the sound. But, no matter how many times he turned around, he didn't find anything that could have made the sound. "Wha' tha 'ell?"  
"Jack!?" Merry exclaimed. "Did you just FART??" She asked as she tried to look stern. She failed as she cracked a smile.

The smell seemed to have reached Jack's nose. He began to gag and cough while he waved the air in front of his face. Merry was pointing and laughing hard enough that she almost fell to the floor. Before she died of laughter, the stench had reached her nose.

"Jeeze, Jack! What crawled up your ass and died?" She gagged. "I think you're gonna need to check you're pants or somethin' cause it smells like you crapped them." She said, disgusted and holding her nose.  
"What?" Jack said, slightly confused.

"You cut the cheese." Merry tried to explained.

"I did not! There's no cheese in here to cut!" Jack said not quite catching on to what she was trying to tell him.

"No, you freak. It means you pooted." Merry tried to explain again.

"Huh?" Jack said growing more confused.

"Farted! You farted!" She nearly yelled.

"I still don't get it."

"Ok, that strange feeling that came out of your butt that felt like air passing through your butt cheeks?" For some odd reason, nonsense seemed to make sense to him, and that defiantly was nonsense.

Jack nodded, understanding. "Yeah. What about it?"

"That's a fart."

"Oh." Jack finally understood.

Merry just shakes her head and laughs.

"What?" He wanted to know what she was laughing at.

"Nothing, nothing." She laughed, shaking her head.

Jack, then, suddenly realized what he had said to her when she shook him awake and sat down on the bed as he continued to think. She didn't look anything like Voldemort. So, why did he think she was?  
While in his musings, Merry sat down next to him on the bed and was looking at him strangely. He seemed to push that to the back of his mind.

"Um, Luv? I'm sorry I called ye a villainous asshole. I thought ye were someone else." Jack said holding her hand.

"Don't worry about it." She said unconvincingly.

He was about to open his mouth to argue when the same brown haired girl that had interrupted their good morning kiss barged into the room again holding a can of whipped cream. Jack was still on edge. With the sudden interruption, he jumped up and in a flash had the girl by the arm and his sword to her throat.

"Tell me who you are and I'll think about letting ye live." Jack said as he pressed the sword against her throat.

The girls eyes instinctively glazed over and nonexistent wind blew through her hair and her nails grew into claws. Her eyes also began to glow and her face began to change.

Out of surprise and slight fear, Jack moved his sword away from her throat. He moved away from her and in front of Merry in order to keep her from harm.

As if on queue, Pippin hurried into the room to see what was going on. Her eyes grew wide as she saw what was taking place. "Fox, NO!" She rushed over in front of 'Fox' and put her hands on Fox's arms in order to get her attention. "Calm down. No one is going to hurt you." She continued to say similar things until Fox was back to her normal self. "They weren't going to do such a thing. . . were you?" Pippin said as she looked over to Merry and Jack.

Before Jack could open his mouth to give a sarcastic remark, Merry had to blurt out a comment.

"You KNOW her?" Merry said, a bit surprised. Then, remembering the conversation with her about half an hour earlier, felt a little embarrassed. "Duh. I just asked you that earlier." She smacked her forehead. "Brain fart!"

Jack gave Merry a weird look.

"Yes you did." Pippin laughed as Merry continued to hit her self in the forehead. "Ok, quit that. You're giving me a headache just watching you do that." She, then, caught Merry's hand and held it so she wouldn't keep hitting herself.

Fox, on the other hand, kept herself quiet through this scene. She was waiting for the opportune moment to introduce herself and right now didn't seem like it. After a few minutes of waiting, she gets fed up and clears her throat.

Pippin looked at her, as did everyone else, and realized that no one had been introduced. "I'm so sorry, Fox." Pippin brought her further into the room. "Merry? Jack? This is Fox. She's half gargoyle, half fox demon. Or, at least, that's what she tells me. Fox? This is Jack and Merry. Jack is a pirate, but he isn't human. He's . . . um, . . . What are you again?"

"Elvish Demon!" Jack grunted.

"Oh. Well, anyway . . . " Pippin said. "This one," She turned and motioned to Merry. "is Merry. She may look like a child, but I assure you she is older then she looks."

"What is it?" Fox said as she began to poke Merry.

"That would be me wife!" Jack said as he narrowed his eyes in irritation.

"I'm curious. . . how do you kiss it?" Fox asked still poking Merry, which was just aggravating the hobbit.

"I'm a HOBBIT!" Merry yelled, jumping in anger. "And can you stop poking me!"  
"I can't help it." Fox said, still poking. "You're interesting."

Jack really got aggravated with the site of this wife being teased about her heritage. He wasn't going to stand for it. He drew his pistol and pointed it straight at Fox.  
"I don't wan' ta use this, but if ye keep carryin' on like tha', I may be forced ta."

A black staff appears in Fox's hand out of thin air and an evil grin spread across her lips. Though, before she could carry out her deviously evil idea, Pippin snatched the staff right out of it's owner's hands and hid it. Fox just looks at Pippin and pouts.

"Not fair, Pip. I wanted to do something evil to the bearded lady!" Fox whined, though Pippin just glared at her disapprovingly.

"I am NOT a lady!" Jack huffed whiled Merry tried to calm him down.

"You sure do look like one. Especially the way you walk . Swaying your hips and the way you use your hands. The EYELINER! Only a punker and women wear eyeliner. By the look of you, " she looked him over, "your no punker. So you've got to be a lady."

"I'm not a lady!" Jack nearly yelled, going red in the face.

Another staff appears in Fox's hands and an evil grin finds it's way back onto her face. "Don't make me use it."

The room goes silent as each demon waited for the other to attack. As Pippin and Merry stood there watching as the two demons tried to stare each other down, they heard whispering on the other side of the door. Merry put her finger to her lips in a signal to be quiet and snuck over to the door. She opened the door very quickly and just stood in the doorway . What she found was Handir and Septimius on there hands and knees and looked like they had once had their ears to the door. They stayed frozen in that position, but they were looking up at Merry with wide eyes and very frightened.

Merry, with her hands on her hips, looked down on them with a disappointed look. "Yes? Do you two need something?"

Instead of replying, Septimius and Handir took off in a dead run. Merry just closed the cabin door while laughing. When she turned around, the scene in front of her made her wonder if she should run and hide like Septimius and Handir did, or stay and help.

Jack, who was now on the verge of an explosion, now hung from the ceiling by his feet. His black hair was now bright pink and in pigtails. He wore a red cheerleader's skirt which hung over his torso, and his boxers where purple with continuous baby blue writing which said "I 'heart' Ponies". On the back of the boxers was a pony big enough to cover his rear end just by itself. The shirt he was wearing was not in the least any less terrifying. It was black with pink lettering which read "I 'heart' Nsync".

Merry's eyes grew wide with the sight of Jack and let out a frightful gasp.

The gasp made Fox turn to look at her and, reluctantly, let Jack fall to the ground. . . hard. Merry rushed over to him to help him up.

"Jack?" Merry asked soothingly, as she finally got him to his feet. "You're not gay, are you?"

Jack let out a girlish gasp as he put a hand to his chest in surprise and disgust. _(A/N: I do not in any way mean to make fun of gay people. I am sorry if this part offends someone. It's not intended that way)_ "No! I am not gay." He stormed off, his hips swaying in a very girlish way.

Merry turned and gave Fox a look that said, "This is all your fault". Fox just shrugged and said "Oops." Pippin, though, was no where to be found.

"I'd better go catch him before he embarrasses himself even more." Merry said and she turned back around and opened the door. She was about to walk through when Fox's voice stopped her.

"But . . . you can't." Fox said urgently.

"And why not!" Merry said, turning back around yet again and putting her hands on her hips.

"Because, well, you two don't seem right for each other." Fox attacked.

"What do you mean?" Merry said, not the least bit happy that some complete stranger was telling her who she should be right for.

"Well, he's a pirate and you. . ." Fox started, though had a grin on her face.  
"I'm what?" Merry urged, clearly fuming. She then felt something tingle her tail bone. Before she knew it, she felt something flipping behind her.  
"Since you're part wolf now." Fox grinned.  
Merry lunged at Fox, but Fox had stopped her. Merry only sat on her knees and looked up at Fox with angry eyes.  
"Is there a counter spell for this?!" Merry asked.  
Fox shrugged. "Not sure." In fact, she did know. She just wanted to see the hobbit with a tail for a while longer before she reversed it.  
"I can't be a wolf. It's just not possible." Merry whined. She was starting to get scared.  
"You're not a full blood wolf, just half." Fox said, trying to sound apologetic.  
"There's got to be a way to reverse this." Merry still whined, starting to pull on her tail.  
"Nope. . . none yet!" Fox said smiling as she watched Merry continue to pull on her tail.  
Merry then screamed in frustration, pulled on her tail one last time before letting it go, and stormed out of the room in order to find Jack.

Jack tied his bandana onto his head. He still felt anxious with it exposed. Then, as he picked up his hat, started to walk out of the extra room that he had stumbled upon. He still was fuming about the whole incident where he was forced to act as if he was a girl.  
"A pirate with pink hair. Ha!" Jack said, just talking to himself. "Why am I the target of everyone's anger. It's just not right!" Jack picked his coat up off of the nearby chair and put it on.  
As he was walking to the door, a dark figure appeared in the room behind him. It gently pulled his sword from it's sheath and hit him over the head with the hilt. The last thing Jack thought before he blacked out was "Not again!". He landed face down on the hard wood floor.  
When he finally woke up, all he could think about was the throbbing at the back of his head. He sat up and rubbed his head as he looked around the room though couldn't make out anything. When his eyes finally focused, he noticed that he wasn't onboard a ship anymore but in a dungeon. He also noticed that no heat had made it down this far, the floor he was sitting on was stone along with the walls. The walls where mostly bare except for the candles and shelves full of jars hung on the walls.

_'A Dungeon?'_ Jack thought. He looked around more and saw that there were rows of tables with holes in the top corners for ink bottles and chairs along with the tables. Up front, was what looked like a teacher's desk and a blackboard.

"What is taught here?" Jack asked aloud, as he stood up and walked over to the first shelf of jars. He gets half way through the jars when a hand grabs his shoulder. He whipped around with his gun pointed straight at the stranger's face. He looked at the man with terror on his face, as though something extremely evil had just found him.

Seeing the gun pointed toward his hooked nose, Snape started to scream like a banshee, though still pointing his wand at Jack's heart. With Snape screaming and a wand pointed right at his heart, Jack also began to scream. Only his scream sounded more like a terrified 5 year old.

They screamed for a couple of minutes before they dropped their weapons and grabbed each others shoulder to scream again. They screamed just for a couple of seconds before they realized what they were doing and released each other. They backed away from each other and screamed again for the third time. As they where backing away and screaming, they both tripped and knocked into separate walls.

The wall that Severus fell on had fell down into the next room, which somehow happened to be Professor McGonagall's room. (A/N: Don't ask me how a stone wall in a castle like Hogwarts could fall down just like that, but I just can in this story.) When he landed, he was on his back. His pants had ripped enough that when his robes fell up over his head, his underwear showed. The read: I 'heart' McGonagall. Somehow the sash that was keeping Jack's pants up had loosened, flew off and his pants fell down. When he had fallen back into the wall, he knocked it over and into the hallway. The underwear he had on were the very same that Fox had made him wear while on the ship. The kids that seen the spectacle had broke out in laughter, especially the kind of underwear that their Potions Professor was wearing. Professor McGonnagall blushed bright red or was just very angry at the embaressment at seeing the underwear.

No sooner did that happen when other students came running down the hall, looking terrified and screaming as if all of them were being murdered by a Muggle madman. As they ran, they nearly ran jack over, but Snape had pulled him out of the way by his feet.

**Meanwhile, Back on Voldemort's Ship**

Everyone able to sail a ship had gathered on deck to await orders from their Captain to sat sail. Pippin, on the other hand, had lost the ring Mel had given her and began to crawling the floor looking for it. After a while, Mel started looking for it as well.

Harry, who was sitting near the railing, reading a Quidditch book, saw something shiny not far from where he was sitting.

"Mel! I can't find it. Get down here and help me look for it." Pippin said, not realizing he was already looking for it.

Harry inched closer to it, stillnot s ure what it was. He gets closer and closer. As soon as he gets close to the piece of jewlery (Yes he fiqured out it's jewlery. He is a smart boy), someone grabbed his arm and started pulling him below deck. "Come on! We've got work to do!"

"But- But-" Harry began, looking at the lost jewlery.

"No buts, mister. Let's go!" The crew member said as he let go of his arm and rushed back down below deck.

Harry hesitated, not sure if he should pick up the object and return it or let the owner find it instead. Harry shook his head and walked over to the object. It was a ring, maybe the ring that the Pippin girl was looking for. Being the nice guy that he is, picked up the ring, and walked over the the two people still on there knees looking for the triket. He cleared his throat to get their attention.

Pippin and Mel looked up at Harry who was holding out Pippin's ring. She stood up and took the ring.

"Why thank you!" Pippin said before she kissed his check.

Mel immediatly got red in the face from jealousy. Pippin was his and his alone. He had to hold back the urge to attack Harry on the sopt.

Harry saw the jealousy on Mel's face and knew he should leave before he got himself hurt.

"Um. . . I've got to go now. You're welcome, by the way." Harry said, mainly to Pippin. He then hurried down below deck like a wild animal was after him.

That was about the time Merry came out of the Captain's Cabin, white as a ghost, and her tail nearly between her legs.

"What happened? Fox played a trick on you didn't she." Pippin said trying not to laugh.

"It's ain't funny, Pip."Merry said sternly. "There's something more important then my tail."

"Like what?" She asked not taking her eyes off of her best friend's new body part.

"Stop looking at my tail!!" Merry nearly yelled.

"Sorry. I can't help it." Pippin appologized. "What is it that you wanted to say?"

"Jack's missing again." She looked clearly devistated. Everyone on deck groaned at the statment and started mumbling amonst themselves about it.

"Merry?" Ron called from the other side of the ship. "There's something I think you need to see."

She made her way to where he was standing. "Yes? What's the matter?" She had her hands on her hips. He just held up a model ship baring black sails. "So? It's just a model ship."

"Of the Black Pearl?" he said. Merry just looked at him in confusion. "This was found stuck in the sand not far from where the Black Pearl originally was docked." He explained, hand the ship to her.

Merry couldn't help but think about who could do this, who would want to take the Black Pearl for their own.

****************************************************************************

Down the corridor, Jack saw something he thought never exsisted and he was seeing alot. Though they look different then what he thought they would look like. They eyebrows look s if they are knitted and swollen, the eye color was yellow with hints of green, and the top row of teeth are sharp with two long fangs at the ends.

One spots Jack and desides to go after him. He runs at jack growling and teeth barred. Jack unsheaths his sword and readies himself for the attack. Before he knew it, he had cut off the vampires's head and the thing had turned to dust.

"That's interesting." Jack said looking at the clean blade. "That's very interesting."

The mob of vampires had seen what Jack had done to one of their own and they didn not like it one bit. They became infuriated with what had happened. They stated to advance wanting to avenge the death of their friend but was stopped by an invisible force. They looked at each other in confusion and then at the sheild. Soon, the sheild started to weaken and shrink.

"Oh great! The battery must be dying." Jack said as he banged on the sheld to make it work again. Instead of the shelf becoming strong again, it weakened more and then finally dies.

The vampires just laugh and advance so far that they are nearly on top of Jack. They were about to pounce when. . .

. . . . . . Jack pulls out a botle of rum, and uncords it with his teeth. He looks at the bottle, then at the vampires, then back at the bottle. He extends his hand to offer the bottle.

"Rum?" Jack offered, seriously. the vampires mjust looked more confused then wehen they hit the sheild. "No?" He shrugged. "Well, then. . ." Jack downs what was left of the rum and throws the empty bottle over his shoulder, which shattered on the stone floor. Just as soon as he had thrown the bottle, he unsheathed his sword quickly and killed the first rown of vampires, but instead of leaving less of them to kill, twice as many had apeared. With the new arrivals the creatures looked more dangerous and lethal then they did before. "Oh bugger!" Jack blurted alittle panicy. "This is not good, not good at all." He was getting more panicky by the second. He had no plan and frankly, valued his life. He stared at all the vampires ith wide eyes.

As the first rown of vampires closed the gap between them and Jack, a fiqure in a black, leather coat killed several vampires before standing behind Jack, both their back faceing each other. Jack raised his sword again, feeling alittle more confident.

Jack awokesome time later to a sore neck and a throbbing headache. he tried to sit up, but someone gently pushe dhim back down. He blinked the sleep from his eyes and tried to focus on the fiqure standing by his bed.

The person had short, dark brown hair that was spike in the front, wore a black t-shirt, black pants, and a black leather overcoat. His skin was pale and he bore a look as if he lost someone very dear.

This man looked very fimilar to Jack. He couldn't p lace it, though. he looked around the room and didn't reconize his surroundings. He became really confused. "Ok, what the 'ell is goin' on? What is this place? Who the 'ell are ye? And 'ow in the 'ell did I get 'ere?" He asked not very happy.

"Calm down, you're in the school's infirmary. You ended up with a nasty bite on your neck. Because of that, you started to bleed badly enough that you passed out. So I carried you up here. By the way. . . name's Angel." He said as he sat not far from Jack's bed. "Just out of curiousity, what was the last thing you remember?"

"Just some lass latchin' on to me neck and a very sharp pain." He said in a raspy voice as he unconsciously put a hand on the part of his neck that was bitten. He closed his eyes when a wave of dizziness and nausea. He became uncomfortable and hot. He threw off the sheets that were covering him.

Angel looked alittle worried and felt Jack's forehead. He was hotter then what was normal. He stood up and sighed. "You already begun to change. I give you 2 days, give or take a couple hours. I suggest you tell your loved ones goodbyes because by the end of the transformation, they will look more like a meal them anything else." He then turned and left the room.

Jack opened his eyes and sigh. He stared at the ceiling thinking about what he was now to become. His mind drifted to those he cared about most. How was he going to keep them safe while he was like that of a wild beast? Would he beabled to keep himself away from his friends and wife? Right then, then made a decision.

'I am getting myself out of here as soon as I am released. There is no reason to put Merry, Pippin, Will, and Elizebeth in danger because of me. I'll get as far away from them as I can so I am not making them suffer.' Jack declared to himself. He closed his eyes, falling into a fitful sleep, unaware of the pain that awaited him when he awoke.

****************************************************************************

Merry sat the shrunken shop down on the desser, then opeened a drawer. She pulled out a glass bottle with a model ship inside. She uncorked the bottle, but before she could do anything else, a white blinking light erupted from the glass bottle.

Merry had at sheild her eyes from the light. when the light finally faded, she noticed that the ship in the bittle was replaced with the shrunken Black Pearl. Instead of trying to get the ship out, Merry just grabbed a book ans started reading.

She had only gotten past the first few pages of her book when the door burst open. Pippin rushed in, closing the door behind her quickly and looking terrified.

"What are you -" Merry bega, before being directed silently in the closet. Pippin clsed the behind them and truned in the direction she thought Merry would be.

"You need to be quiet. If we make noise, they will definately catch us." Pippin whispered. looking panicked.

"But -" Merry started, but was cut off again, though it wasn't Pippin this time. The door swung violently open, and there stood the same kind of vampire that had invaded Hogwarts. Both girls scream and tried to back up, but bumped into the back of the closet. The vampire hissed and inched forward every few seconds. a couple minutes later, the bedroom door closed loudly. The vampire turned but did not leave the spot that he was standing on.

"Now that's no way to treat a couple of young lasses."

****************************************************************************

Several hours later in Port Royal, Will came home from a long day at the blacksmith shop to what he thought was an empty house. "Elizabeth?" he called as he walked into the enterence hall.

No one answered.

Will became uneasy as Elizabeth usually answered his call. He drew his sword ready for some kind of attack.

Soon enough, 5 vampires came down the stairs and stopped when they got a look at Will. He noticed two of them had to hold on to Elizabeth to keep her from screaming and running away.

"Elizabeth!" Will stated, becomeing releaves as she was fine. But that feeling soon was drowned out by the anger as someone had a hold of his wife and was intending to hurt her. In his fit of anger, he attacked without warning, trying to free his wife, but only managed to get himself captured as well. The team of five vampires dragged both adults out of the house.

****************************************************************************

Jack awoke very sore. Every inch of him hurt. When he tried to sit up, he just ended up falling back onto his pillow he hurt so bad. He felt a bandage on the side of his neck where he was bitten. It felt a bit soaked from the blood. Ignoring the bandage for a moment, he tried to sit up, but just fell back into the pillow again. He tried again, but was just too weak to sit up by himself.

As if predicting he would be awake, Madame Pomfrey rushed out of her office. She walked over to his beside, saw his pained expression and immediatly checked him over. When she finished, all she could do was to administer posions that he needed. She handed him the first potion, but he just looked at her like she was going to posion him. She noticed.

"It's a pain reliever. Trust me."

Jack took the vial slowly while looking at her suspciously. He downed it in one gulp and, even though it tasted horrible, he felt the pain and stiffness go away almost instantly. He looked at the nurse in surprise and confusion. All she did was laugh while handing him another vial. She handed him 2 or 3 other vials before finally handing a a dreamless sleep potion.

He started to drift asleep, but just before he lost conciousness, some one had rushed into the infirmary and exclaimed someone had been taken. Before he could wonder who, he was sound asleep.

When he awoke, he didn't seem to know where he was. He looked around the infirmary and slowly began to remember how he had gotten there. Soon enough, he noticed a black figure hovering at the end of his bed. It stayed there for several minutes, not saying a word. It just looked on. Finally, deciding that the occupant was awake, it decided to speak.

At first he, yes a he, cleared his throat.

"Are ye jus' goin' ta stand there or say somethin'?"

The black clothed man just huffed, sneered, and then turned on his heel. He stored to the unopened doors to throw them open. But before he could, they where opened by and elderly man with half-moon glasses, brightly colored robes, and long white hair and beard. He stopped right in front of the black robed man and started to speak.

"Now, Severus. You did volunteer for this, remember? You can't possibly back out now." The headmaster said, his blue eyes twinkling.

'Severus' then screwed up his face as if in pain.

"Headmaster, please."

"I'm sorry, Severus."  
"I don' mean ta pry, but, wha' in the hell is goin' on here?" Jack said, finally sitting up.

Severus sighed.

"Might as well hear it from a good source then from a rumor. Your wife and her best friend along with a couple have been kidnapped in the night." Severus didn't continue.

Although, the headmaster did.

"We are looking into wither or not a wizard tyrant named Lord Voldemort has anything to do with it. Though I don't understand by he would take anyone captive."

"I don't think that this 'Lord' Voldemort would have anything to do with it." Jack said, his eyes cast downward.

"And how would you know a thing like that? You're a muggle!" Severus blurted.

"Because I'm one of the ones that helped tear him apart and throw the pieces into the ocean."

The two wizards looked at him in either surprise or disbelief. Jack explained how that had come to be and finished off the story with how he, or at least what he remembered, got into the infirmary.

The two just stood there, one with crossed arms and a sneer while the other seemed to be in deep thought.

The silence had grown almost to be an awkward silence. Soon, Jack couldn't stand it.

"Merry, my wife. Is she alright? Her friend, what about her? Who were the couple?" Jack asked one right after the other. His concern for all of them showed. That and he was hoping the couple taken wasn't the two he was thinking of.

Just that moment, Jack could feel pain once again building up inside of him and before anyone had time to answer, the once calm, yet slightly hysterical, pirate was screaming in pain.

Madam Pomphery immediately rushed in carrying various potions.

"Move! Get out of my way!" She yelled as she pushed past them. "Someone hold him down while I administer the potions."

Hagrid, at some point, had entered the hospital wing and helped the two professors hold down the still screaming pirate.

The nurse pinched Jack's nose, opened his mouth, and poured the potions into his mouth one by one. Soon, the screams became sobs and finally he fell asleep.

"That should keep him calm for a little while." Pomphery said as she stood up.

"Not that I care, but what was that all about?" Severus asked, not looking the least bit concerned.

Pomphery explained the medial reasons for Jack's fits while Dumbledore filled in the blanks.

"So, you're saying telling me that those . . . creatures where vampires?" Severus laughs, "Also, somehow this dunderhead -" gestures to Jack, "was attacked by them. Meanwhile, a stranger who claims to be a vampire 'with a soul' happened to be wondering Hogwarts and saves jackass' arse? Now since he has already been infected with this 'virus', he's going to become one of these things? Albus, that is the craziest story you have ever come up with!"

"Severus . . ."

"No, Albus!" Severus sternly said, "I'm not spending my time working on a potion to save his sorry ass." He threw his hands up in rebellion.

A soft snarl was heard from behind them, near the exit. They all turned and, low and behold, there stood Angelus in full vampiric form.

"My kind doesn't exist, huh?" Angel snarled. In a blink of an eye, Angel had closed the gap that separated them and lifted him up by his neck, slamming him into a nearby wall. While this occurred, Angel had his fangs bared. "I could just 'infect' you right now if I wanted." He could close enough to bit him, but didn't. He was just trying to freak the wizard out.

Severus began to squirm and pawed at the hand at his throat. His eyes where wide and he had gone more pale then he already was, which was surprising since no one really thought that he could go any more pale.

"That enough!" Dumbledore said sternly, a cross look on his face. The headmaster had used a voice that no one had heard before and, frankly, it was kind of scary. "If you would kindly let go of my Potions Master.

Angel hesitated, but finally let go. Severus fell to the ground and had to sit up. He rubbed his neck as he glared at the vampire. He finally picked himself up and dusted all the dirt off of his robes.

The potions where short lives as Jack's eyelids fluttered and opened. He made a face, as would someone who was rudely awakened, and moved his head toward the voices. He blinked the sleep out of his eyes, what was there anyway, and stared at the crowd.

"Wha' tha 'ell is all tha shoutin' 'bout?" Jack asked groggily.

Everyone immediately turned toward him and stared in surprise.

"Those potions where supposed to knock him out for a good few hours! How in the bloody world-" Severus said in surprised.

"Maybe his body is already starting to build an immunity to the stuff." Angel suggested.

"I don't bloody care 'bout 'potions'!" Jack said, pulling the covers off and swinging his legs over the side of the bed. He looked down at the cloths that he was wearing. "Wha' tha bloody 'ell happened ta my cloths?"  
"They're right here." Madam Pomphery said sweetly. She opened the wardrobe and pulled out clean cloths. "They really were hard to clean. The house elves had to wash them several times to get all the dirt and grim out."  
Jack just stared.

"Me cloths are clean??"

"Shocking isn't it? Someone actually cares enough to clean you're cloths." Snape remarked snidely.

Jack wasn't even listening. He just grabbed his clothes, quickly put them on, and ran out of the door. He had to get to Merry before it was too late.

Merry and Pippin where thrown into the brig of an unknown ship. After both had helped each other up and dust themselves off, they noticed that they weren't the only ones there.

"Will?" Merry blurted.

"Elizebeth?" Pippin asked, squinting her eyes.

Will lifted his head and blinked his eyes a couple of times.

"Merry? Pippin? Is that you?"

"Yeah." Pippin looked around while Merry found the wall and slide down into a sitting position. "How did you two get here?"  
Will just shrugs. "Woke up here." He looked from Pippin to Merry and back to Pippin. "Um, what happened to Jack?"

"Well, that's a long story." Both Merry and Pippin said at the same time.

"We have the time." Elizebeth said as she leaned out of the shadowed corner.

Pippin looked at Merry, who just nodded. "Alright."

The story began with the small spat between Merry and Jack. Will just had to interrupt with a 'Aww. Your first row after being married. How sweet!" But Merry only told him to shut his mouth. They continued with what happened on Voldemort's ship, Merry's sacrifice, Jack's disappearance, and finally how they got there.

"So… you have no idea as to how he disappeared again? No clue to where he might be?" Will asked.

Merry only shook her head. "None what so ever. But…" She lifted up the bottled 'model' ship. Someone aboard the ship found this where the _Black Pearl_ should have been docked. The weird part though is how it got in there. All I did was set the ship down on the writing desk and open the bottle. A white light then erupted and next thing I know, the _Pearl_ is inside this bottle. There's no way that this ship can come out. I've tried shattering the glass every possible way and there's no breaking it. It's in there for good.

Will opened his mouth to say something, but the door opened and boot where heard coming down the stairs slowly.

*********************************************************************************

"Where do you think you're going?" Severus said as he caught up with Jack.

"I'm rescuin' me wife and our friends! I'm getting them away from all this madness . . . and me."

"Why would you want to distance yourself from the people you care about the most? Usually there's a reason for that; your scared something will happen to them."  
"You're a real smart one, aren't ye?" Jack said sarcastically. "Yes, I am scared **I** will **hurt** them." Jack said as he began to walk faster. Although, a jolting pain erupted from his stomach and spread through his entire body. He fell to the ground, pulled his legs up to his chest and rocked back and forth. This usually helped with pain.

Severus reached inside his robes and pulled out a vial. He handed it to Jack who just continued to rock.

"Take it. It'll help with the pain." Severus said while shoving it into Jack's hands. Jack only shoved it back.

"It's not gonna work. The virus is too far along." Jack choked out. "I've got to get to her before it's too late. The process is almost complete." Several minutes pass before Jack is able to stand. When he does, he starts to walk at a fast pace.

They walk to the edge of the grounds and stop.

"Ok, where do we go from here?"

"Hold on!" Was all Severus said and held out a portkey.

The atmosphere on board Voldemort's ship was frantic. Not only was their captain missing, but also his wife and her best friend had disappeared as well. No one seemed to know what to do.

Out of nowhere, two figures just fell from the sky and right onto the deck of the ship. Everyone stopped what they were doing to look at the two new arrivals. They were surprised to see their captain and someone who looked a lot like Septimius only in black.

"Severus?" Came a voice from the crowd. Septimius stood at the edge of the crowd to stare at his twin.

"Sexton." Severus said with a sneer. He was not too pleased to see his brother.

"No wonder we got him confused." Harry whispered to Ron. "He has a twin."

Hermione hit her forehead with the palm of her hand. "Seriously, you two. I told you a thousand times already that he might have had a twin. But of course, you never listen to me."

Jack left the questioning crowd to find someone from the _Black Pearl_'s crew. He made his way to the hold to find it empty. He then went to the forecastle (A/N: That's where the crew sleeps.) to find Gibbs asleep in one of the hammocks.

He walked up to his old friend quietly and shook him gently. Gibbs awoke with a start and looked at Jack groggily.

"Jack?" Gibbs asks rubbing the sleep from his eyes.

"Aye."

"Jack! It's good ta see ye. 'Tis been awhile."

"Aye, it has been a while. But I wish it were on better terms." Jack said looking gloomy.

"What's tha matter, lad? It's doesn't have anythin' ta do with yer lass of yers does it?" Gibbs asked, getting worried. He knew how devoted he was to his bonnie lass and her to him.

"No. It's not Merry. We could never be happier. Though," he sighs, "I'm afraid I can never return. I'm sick with a virus that requires blood to survive."

"Jack, what are ye tryin' ta tell me?" Gibbs questioned, very confused.

"I'm becoming a vampire."

"Out of all the bizarre things ye've told me, that one is the wildest one. Aye, but I believe ye. Ye've never lied to me looking that gloom." Gibbs said seriously.

"Aye." Jack gloomily said. "I've got a problem I've been meanin' ta have ye help me solve. I know Merry's missing and I need to find her. Would you 'appen to know where she is?"

"Hold it! How did you find out about that. The only one I told was that funny lookin' guy. Ye know, tha one with the greasy hair and the black dress."

Jack laughs. "That's Snape. He's a friend of Merry's. Besides, that's not a dress, mate. Those are 'robes'. He's a wizard."

"Aye." Gibbs said, not convinced. "Scary damn bastard, though."

"Yeah." Jack sighs again. "I heard it from him. Now, do you or do you not know who has me bonnie lass?"

"I'm not sure, lad. But I thought I saw a few from Barbossa's crew."

"T\hanks, mate. I think I know where they are." Jack rushed up and grabbed Severus by the arm and pulled him aside. "I think I know where she is."

Severus just looked at him weird.

"You sure she's here?" Septimius whispered.

Jack just nodded and signaled to be quiet. His boots were the first to sound as they descended the stairs to the holding cells.

A familiar voice gasped and cried out.  
"Jack! Severus! Septimius!"

Jack's eyes lit up as he saw Merry and their friends all in the same holding cell. He made his way over, but before he could open the lock, someone grabbed his shoulder and turned him around.

There stood a fierce looking vampire. The only thing Jack did was ask Merry for her mirror, which she had with her, and proceeded to shine sunlight in the vampire in the face. It screamed until it turned to ash.

"That was interesting." Septimius said in surprise.

"You would!" Severus shot back.

"Oh just shut up." Jack said as he turned back to the locked cell, which opened with a click. He went in to make sure everyone was alright, especially Merry.

The sound of someone coming down the stairs caught everyone's attention. Slowly, someone began to emerge. Barbossa stood at the end of the stairway.

"Ye're dead!" Jack nearly yelled, growing angry. "I killed ye!"

"I'm not the only one ye've murdered."

"Jack?" Merry called.

"Don't worry, luv. I'll be fine. Though, I need ta discuss somethin' with ye when we get home." He whispered to her. He gently touched her face before getting up and exiting the cell. All Merry could do was watch in worry.

"I suppose you do remember the lass you've murdered?" Barbossa said with a smirk.

_*Flashback*_

_Jack snuck through the large mansion that was almost completely dark. The sun had set about an hour ago and he knew they would be gone to hunt. But he did not expect _her_ to still be there. All he wanted to do is see if he still had what it took to pillage. _

_'I'll show Will who's the better pirate!' Jack thought._

_He entered the first bedroom he came too and lit a candle for better light. Almost immediately, he saw a large elegant dresser on the other side of the room. A expensive looking jewelry box set on top of it. Jack knew he would get some treasure tonight. _

_He made his way over to it as quietly as he can. He opened the box hoping that it wasn't a musical box just incase there was someone in the house that would hear it. He looked inside and found a beautiful necklace that would look more beautiful on his bonnie lass. He carefully picked it up and slipped it in his pocket._

_Just when he started to look through more of the box, there was a tap on his shoulder. He turned around to find a very beautiful woman standing right behind him looking furious and hands on her hips. Her face then changed and she bared her fangs, lunging at him. He tried to move out of the way, but wasn't fast enough. He was slammed against the wall by the throat. He tried to squirm out of her grip, but it was too strong._

_"I may let you live if you tell me what you are doing in my house!" She growled at him. _

_"I will if you let me go." Jack chocked. _

_She hesitated, thinking about it. Finally, she let him go. Though, instead of an explanation, he darted for a wooden chair and broke off a leg. He held it in front of him, but did nothing. _

_She lunged after him, not seeing the homemade stake pointed at her. She lunged right onto the stake and fell to the floor as ash. _

_Jack, in a blind panic, fled the house._

_*End Flashback*_

Jack had a pained look on his face. He knew that he had no choice then to kill her, but it still haunted him. He had always had a hard time pushing it to the back of his mind.

"I hope that you realize that is the reason they are after you. I'm just here to help them get rid of ye." Barbossa just laughed, not realizing that a very blunt object was floating towards his head. Suddenly, it hit him in the head hard enough to knock him out. He fell to the floor with a loud thud.  
"Wha' the 'ell?" Jack said with a very confused look on his face.

Septimius lowered his wand with a smug look on his face. "Mother always thought I was talented with wandless magic."

"Yeah, well, she always thought _you_ were the more talented one." Severus snapped.

Jack just sighed. "Can we jus' get out o' here before we get caught again?"

"Too late!" Will said.

About 5 or 6 vampires rushed down the stairs and into the hold. They stopped to look at the intruders, all the while growling at them.

"Great!" Jack said as he unsheathed his sword. He turned and walked into the cell again and kneeled down next to Merry. "I want ye all ta stay in here."

"We can defend ourselves!" Pippin angrily said.

"I said stay in here!" Jack nearly yelled. "I don' wan' tha fact that I could 'ave protected ye an' know that I could 'ave prevented yer death."

"Alright, enough with the sappy explanation." Merry said sarcastically. "We'll stay here. But, if you get yourself killed, I'm bringing you back to life and killing you again!"

"I think tha's fair." Jack said smiling.

It was at that moment that the vampires attacked, fangs bared. One had knocked Jack to the ground and decided to go for the throat. Jack just laid there, wide-eyed and trying to push the vampire off.

Merry was the only one concerned for Jack. She tried to get to him but Will held her back. She was screaming and yelling for someone to help him.

Just as the teeth touched the skin, the vampire was thrown off and killed immediately.

Jack looked up, and there stood Severus with a sneer fierce enough to scare the bravest 7th years. He looked in utter shock at him.

"Don't look at me like that!" Severus said with embarrassed, yet scared look. He then rushed back up to the deck with his black robes billowing behind him.

"O-k," Pippin said, confused.

Merry, as soon as Will released her, rushed to Jack and threw her arms around his neck. She was hugging him tight and not wanting to let him go.

"I thought I was going to lose you." She whispered in his ear. "I was so scared." Her eyes where closed tight as she wanted to take in his scent, which was of spice and the sea.

"Um, luv? We have to talk." Jack said sadly, pulling away.

Merry didn't like the way he said that. Though, she's never heard him use that tone, she knew it couldn't be good.

"I think we'd better leave." Pippin said and began to leave the room.

Will and Elizebeth soon followed Pippin out.

"What's the matter?"

Jack looked down at the floor. He knew he had to tell her and it seemed to be the opportune moment.

"I've already been bit. I've got anywhere form a few hours to a day." Jack looked up, He found Merry sitting down in shock. A single tear fell down her face.

Jack fell to his knees in front of her and lifted her chin up. He looked in her eyes and spoke with pure sincerity.

"I know this is hard to take in. I'm still having a hard time with it. I just want you to do me one favor, luv. I don't want you to remember me by the thing I will become, but by the way I am now. Remember that I will always love ye. I love ye with all me heart. Nothing will change that."

"No! I don't have to remember!" Merry said angrily.

The sudden outburst started Jack. "I don' understand."  
"There's a cure. Some half-blood vampire and a human scientist created it. I think Severus has a potion version of it."

Before she could explain more, Jack began the last stage of the transformation. He fell to the floor in pain. He tried not to scream, but the pain was too much and he began crying while screaming. Everyone came down the stairs to see what was wrong, and found Jack screaming and Merry on the floor frightened and crying.

Will went over to her, knelt down and put a hand on her shoulder. At first, it startled her, but she then realized who it was and hugged him while burying her face in his shoulder.

For nearly 20 minutes, the only noise was that of screaming. No one could do anything. When the screaming finally did stop, everyone became incredibly still and watched. Jack continued to lay on the floor with his face hidden from everyone. Growls and snarls began to sound from him.

Will instinctively tried to protect Merry and Elizebeth while Pippin ran behind Septimius.

Jack stood up and turned toward the group. Both Merry and Elizebeth screamed.

Jack's face had become the demonic face that of a vampire and fangs had also appeared.

"RUN! Run back up to deck!" Will shouted. He waited until everyone had filled out of the room before leaving himself. Merry was the only one that hadn't left and Will waited for her. Will realized soon that she was in too much of a shock and grabbed her by the waist and practically carried her up.

When they where back safely on Voldemort's ship, Will let go of Merry. Not a word was said as she turned and walked slowly to the Captain's Quarters.

Pippin started after her, worried, but Septimius stopped her.

"She needs time alone to fully adjust."

"We could try to get him to take the cure?" Severus suggested.

"And how do you suggest we do that?" Septimius said, pacing. "The only known cure is in the States. We are not going to have enough time. Besides, his wife is grieving as if he really did die! And technically, he DID!"

"Well…" Severus said, getting angry. "I have had a chance to get my hands on a cure several months ago and perfect it a little. All we need to do is make enough to make sure he gets it."

The next few days where spent getting and preparing the ingredients and then making the potion. When they finally got it done, they had 3 or 4 vials ready for use.

"Well, all we need is a plan." Will said. "Any ideas?"

"What about a type if interjection. Like a needle or a tranquilizer dart." Pippin suggested.

"Blood? Like through a donation." Septimius said. "It could be through a small animal or what you could get form the Red Cross."

"I think then you would need a volunteer." A voice came from the darkened doorway. Angel emerged from it and entered the room. " I don't think though any of you should go near him. He's rather hungry since he hasn't fed for a couple of days."

"He's still himself then." Will said, thinking.

"I'll give it to him." Angel demanded.

Merry sat in the Captain's Quarters looking at a photo of the both of them. She smiled as she remembered the day they took it.

Then, a rapping came for one of the windows near her. She jumped and started to look around till she looked at the window it came from. She got a terrible shock. There at the window was Jack. His face was pale, but you couldn't tell really since his skin was still dark. Also, white fangs glistened in the moonlight as he smiled.

Merry was hesitant to open the window, but finally decided to let him in just to see what he wanted. He tripped slightly over a chair as he came in.

Instead of embracing him like she wanted to, she kept her distance since she didn't know if he was safe to approach.

"What's the matter, luv? Aren't ye glad ta see me?" Jack said, looking sincerely hurt by her actions.

Merry nodded as she didn't trust her own voice. She wanted to hold him and kiss him till he couldn't see straight. Though, she didn't want to risk death either.

"Luv?" Jack asked, getting closer. He got close enough to touch her face. He felt awful for putting her through this and couldn't hold or touch her.

"No, Jack."  
"Please, luv."

"Only for a little while." She gave in.

They slowly got closer and embraced. Her head rested on his chest while his chin rested on the top of her head. It felt nice for the both of them to be close to each other again. With him gone for days, to was hard.

After a while, the hunger was taking over.

'No! Not now. Not when I have her in my arms.' He tried to resist but, soon, he found himself inching toward her neck. Her blood smelled so good.

Before any damage was done, Jack tensed. Pain again erupted through his body. He only held on to her still. Merry could feel how tense he was.

"Jack?"

"Don' worry, luv. It's just that the cure is kicking in. Angel gave it too me about an hour ago." He had gotten a pained look on his face, but still continued to hold her.

Soon, the pain was gone.

"That's it?" Jack said, looking surprised. He run his tongue over his teeth to see if the canines where still there. "Damn, still there."

"Maybe it will take a little longer to completely reverse."

"I hope you're right." Jack said as he looked out the window. He noticed that the sun was rising. "Luv, I need a dark place to sleep… now.

"I think the closet is big enough." Merry said as she looked at the closet.  
"Thanks." He kissed her on the cheek and opened the closet door. "Yeah. It's big enough." He climbed in and got settled.

"Mmm hmm."

"Yeah," he sighed. He grabbed the handle and pulled the door shut.

Merry yawned and figured it was time she went back to bed. She tossed the covers aside and limbed in. Soon, she was asleep. What she didn't realize, though, was that there was a full moon that night.

Jack awoke the next night with no pain. He had, however, woken up during the day with very bad stomach craps, but just went back to sleep.

Now that he was fully awake, he noticed that he felt weird. He was hungry, but not for blood. He was hungry for regular food.

He got up and popped his head out of the door, just to make sure it was safe. He saw that Merry was still asleep and that no one else was in the room so he stepped out and closed the door as quietly as he could. Though, as he turned around, there stood an elf that he had never seen before.

'That's funny. I thought that no one else was in the room.' He looked to Merry's bed to find it empty. He looked back at the elf and realized that the elf _was_ Merry.

"Merry? Is it the nearly time for the full moon already?"

Merry looks at him in wonder. "I don't understand. What are you talking about?"

"You haven't seen yourself recently have you?"

Merry shook her head. "I've been too stressed to even think about grooming."

"Come on. Ye need ta see yerself." Jack said as he pulled her to the bathroom and in front of the mirror.

Merry just gasped. She didn't realize how much she had changed. Her hair had grown to an unbelievable length, which was to her waist (it was just at the middle of her back.) and was straight, both eyes where the brightest purple and where the big innocent type, she had gotten high cheek bones, a slim small nose, and an hour-glass figure. She had also grown several inches and was now slightly taller then Jack (half-an inch to a full inch). "Is that really me?" Merry asked in shock. She just had to check herself over. "Yep! That's me!" She wasn't quite sure what to make of all this. "What do you think Jack?"

He didn't answer.

"Jack?" She turned around to find him gawking.

In fact, Jack was in a bit of a shock. He really didn't think that the woman whom he thought couldn't be more beautiful could become something that rivaled a goddess. (A/N: I've got this image of the elvish race to be somewhat almost perfect and very beautiful. I believe they are the closest thing to being gods. So don't go yelling at me about this.)

"We're going from one shock to another, aren't we?" Merry asked, mainly talking to herself.

Jack hummed his response, not quite sure what she said. He was in deep thought and only heard a couple of words. "Luv, wha'da say we go back ta tha Pearl and-" Jack raised his eyebrows and smiled. "-ya know, have some fun."

"Is sex all you think about?" Merry said, not he least bit surprised.

"No," Jack paused. "I think about rum, too."

Merry huffed.

"And ye too, luv. I think about ye, too." Jack hurriedly said, getting offensive.

"Oh, you think about it and you know it." Merry said teasingly.

Pippin, who had come in just a little after the conversation started, just blinked and turned to leave.

Merry saw her.

"Pippin!" She whined.

"Hey, you don't need an audience. I'll be back later after you're done here. That should be about, oh-" She looked at her imaginary watch, "-15 minutes."

Jack went to say something, but Merry covered his mouth and rolled her eyes. Instead of the steady use of profanity and insults he uses, it was 5 minutes of just Jack's muffled yelling. Merry finally uncovered his mouth, but Jack got a last word in.

"And that's why it takes us longer then bloody 15 minutes!" Jack finished his rant.

In a blink of an eye, Pippin began to change into a strange creature. Her skin was a redish purple color. Both Jack and Merry where looking at her as if she had grown two heads. Pippin grew curious as to why they where looking at her funny, so she looked at the back of her hand to see if he had green skin or something. She was close. Her skin had completely changed to the redish purple color and was now forming scales. It started on the back of her hands and spread from there. Soon, a tail formed and began flipping back and forth, and eventually smashed into the closet. She grew in size slowly, all the while, transfiquring into some type of mythical creature.  
"Um. . . Pip? We may need to get you out the door now or after too long, you won't be able to even fit in this room." Merry said, momentarily coming out of her shocked state.

Merry and Jack began to help the partically transfigured Poppin out of the door that nearly was too small to fit her through and out on deck.

As soon as they had gotten her on deck, she rapidly grew and didn't stop until she was fully transfigured into a adult Dragon! She stood 20 feet tall, wing span was 145 feet and her tail was nearly 10 feet long. With that size, she really couldn't fit on the deck of the ship, since she was so big. She tried to keep her tail on the ship so she wouldn't take out a rail. With her size, the ship was nearly under water.

Pippin crouched down and layed her head on the deck so she could somewhat look Merry in the eye. They just stared at each other for a moment before Pippin leaped into the air and gently landed a couple of feet away from the ship. As soon as she had flew off the ship, it immediatly sprung up and rocking violently enough that a few people were nearly thrown over board. Most nearly lost their balance, but only a few actually fell over.

"Sorry." Pippin hummed in her now lower voice.

As soon as Merry had steadied herself, she felt something hit her in the arm. She turned to see who or what had hit her but couldn't see anything. She looked at Jack, who was staring back at her with wide eyes.

"What's the matter with you?" Merry asked confused.  
"Um. . Luv? Go like this." Jack said as he raised a hand to his nose.

Merry tried to do that, but instead of touching her nose, she hit the underside of something hard. She tried it again and hit the same thing. She was about to ask for a mirror, but someone had beet her too it. What she saw shocked her.

"Is the a BEAK where my mouth and nose should be??" Merry nearly yelled, clearly very alarmed.

Before anyone could answer, the same feeling that had hit her a minute ago had hit her in the chest. That second, she had rapidly transfigured into a penguin. Everyone's mouth fell open and their eyes grew wide.

"My WIFE hs been turned into a PENGUIN!" Jack exclaimed, quite alarmed.

Every single person on deck looked like fish out of water as they were opening and closing their mouths without a single sound coming out of them. The only one not looking like that was Ron, who was looking very embarrased.

"Sorry, I've got the hiccups" Ron explained, going red in the ears. "and I lose control of my magic." Just as he closed his mouth, another hiccup excaped and hit Jack square in the chest, which immediatly turned him into a butterfly.

Everyone took one look at Jack instantly started laughing hysterically at his new form. Some even fell to the floor, they found it so funny.

"Wha' are ye all laughin' at?" Jack asked, not fully realizing what he had been turned into.

Everyone started laughing harder when they heard his squeeky voice. Even Pippin, who's voice was low and rumbling, and Merry, who's voice was not quite as high but equally as squeeky, were laughing at him.

"Now that voice fits your middle name, love." Merry giggled as she pointed a fin in his direction.

"Can we stop laughin' at me and find a way ta get tha lad ta stop his hiccups." Jack squeeked, clearly quite irrated.

"Scaring him is way to cure him." Pippin suggested as she accidentally shot fire from her nostrils. The fire sped past Ron. He jumped back with eyes wide and about to start screaming.

If Jack had eyebrows, he would have raised one in surprise.

"Well, ye did a good 'nuff job wif that, lass." Jack squeaked.

Harry tilted his head as he staired at the dragonized Pippin. "Is it just me or does she look like a Hungarian Horntail?" He asked, which no one answered. "I guess it's just me."

Ron must have been the only one that agreed since he was still wide-eyed, paled, and looking as though as he was about to faint from pure fright.

"You did it Pip!" Merry declaired. "You got rid of his hiccups!" As she said that, she started to jump up and down in joy.

Pippin smiled a toothy smile and she emitted a rumble, which was humming. Then she got a thinking expression on her face and began to think aloud. "I wonder what these forms mean?"  
"Don't they have something to do with innocence, brother?" Septimius teased.

Severus sneared at his brother before he answered. "The forms mean a certain level of innocence. For insteance, Ms. Elfhelm's form is obviously the dragon. That means she has a very high level of innocence. On the other hand, Mr. Sparrow is the butterfly. His innocence level is very low."

"And Merry?" A voice called out.

"Well," Severus began. "her's is the penguin. Her level of innocence isn't very high, but it's alot higher then Mr. Sparrow's."

"I wonder who is responcable for that!" Merry stated while glaring at her husband.

"You're not supposed to let someone like him drop you innocence like that." Ron blurted.

Merry got angry at the comment and charged at Ron. Her little penguin wings where outstreched and she was squawking like something was killing her. When she reached Ron, she bit him in the leg. She bit him hard enough that she drew blood.

"Bloody hell! She bit me!" Ron exclaimed, jumped back from the angery penguin.

"You've deserved it." Merry said, glaring at him. "Jerk!" While waddling back to where Pippin was resting her head. Merry suddenly changed into a huge black panther with a big white puff. She stopped walking, sat down, and looked around. "Is it just me or did eveything shrink?"  
"It's not you." Said Harry. "You've turned into a panther!" He stated.

"Really?" Merry questioned, looking at a paw. "FINALLY! I knew I was more innocent then a penguin."She purred as she rubbed up against Ron's legs.

Jack, on the other hand, became jealous. He was so jealous that nothing but thoughts of murder came to mind. And now, because of that thought, he progressed downward to a pile of dust.

The only thing different about the pile of dust was that he still had eyes and a mouth; everything else was dust.

A low growl emitted from Merry before she yelled. "Jack you dumbass! The whole point of this is to regain our innocence and get back to our normal selves. It's not about loseing it all-together and regress into a pile of dirt." She finished with one last growl while showing her teeth.

Jack's eyes lowered, as if in shame. "I'm sorry, luv." His voice was filled with hurt and genuine shame. that shame mush have been enough, because within that second, another pop sounded along with a big white cloud. The cloud disappeared to reveal Jack back into his butterfly form. He looked at himself and exclaimed with a grin, "I'm a butterfly again!"

"Yeah, well don't ruin it by going back to being that pile of dirt." Pippin said sarcastically. With that statment, she down graded into a mountian lion. She lifted up a paw and her eyes grew wide with shock. "I think I dot alittle to mean."

"What did you say?" Merry asked knowing full well what Pippin had said.

"I said I think I was alittle to mean. . ." Pippin repeated, starting to catch on to what Merry was trying to get at. ". . . Oh." Pippin said realizing what Merry was getting at. "Let's see what else I can say to 'dear ol' Jack'."

Jack's eyes grew wide with fear and was about to hide behind Merry when he himself upgraded into an ostrage. Instead of trying to hide behind Merry now, he immediatly started looking for a place to bury his head.

"Now I know how to get him to behave." Merry commented, grinning. With a pop, Merry was back to a penguin. She looked down at herself and was not happy. "Shit." Another pop and she was downgraded to a goldfish with her own bowl of water. "Ok" She tried to say, but couldn't talk underwater. She poped her head out of the bowl and repeated herself. "Ok, this is just ridiculous." She started to huff.

Jack finally quit trying to bury his head and lowered it so he could look Merry in the eye. "Now, luv. Try to calm down."

"Yeah, that helps coming from someone who just tried to buy his head in the wood!" Merry shot back. Jack just glared at her. "Alright." She tried to take deep breathes, but since she was a fish, it wasn't working. She popped her head back under the water and tried it again, and surprisingly, it worked. She raised her head back up. "Thank you." She said genuinelly. That was enough to bring her back to the panther. She was so happy to have skipped the penguin all-together and back to the panther that she started to rub up against Jack's leggs.

"Hey!" Jack laughed. "Stop that."

"Why?" Merry teased as she continued to rub up against his leggs and start to purr.

"Because it tickles." He said just before he gently nipped her ear.

"Are you two trying to stay like that or would you like to get back to normal?" Severus said, getting very aggitated.

"Oh, come on. They're acting innocent. Actually, they're acting alot like they did when they first fell in love." Pippin stated.

"And if you would quit being an -" Merry directed toward Severus but didn't get to finish her sentence since Jack had bit her in the ear, only hard this time. "Ouch. That hurt." She stated as she glared up at Jack.  
"Do you want to downgrade into a goldfish again?" Jack asked, getting annoyed.

Merry lowered her head in shame. ". . . no . . "

"Then behave!" Jack stated

"Look who's talkin'!" Pippin growled. With that, Pippin was completely back to normal. She looked at herself in surprise then dancing and singing around the deck in joy.

Merry sighed and frowned when she looked at Pippin. She decided that she needed to think more like Pip since she was the most innocent out of all of them. With the thought of being innocent came the all fimiliar pop. Merry was back to normal. Pippin saw and they both danced and sang like a couple of hyper geeks.

Jack looked at both of the girls with the most saddened expression he could muster. Why was it that they could pop back to normal so easily and he couldn't?

"Well it's because you've lived your lifestyle for so long that you forgot how to be innocent. But us?" Merry looked to Pippin and back to Jack. "We really haven't let go of our inner child." Merry had explained.

Jack had a shocked look on his face. He didn't realize that he had thought aloud. "Could you help me?" He asked genuinelly.A small pop and Jack had moved up to a tiger.

"Well, there you go. No help from us." Pippin said with a smile while Merry hugged her husband around the neck. "One or two thoughts and you'd be back to normal."

"I'll still need help." Jack pleaded.

"Well let's ask some obvious questions like 'What would you do if you found someone's wallet laying on the ground?' " Merry asked.

"Huh, keep if for myself?" 'pop' Back to an osterage.

Both Merry and Pippin hit their foreheads.

"No! You're supposed to return it or turn it into the police." Pippin explained.

"Oh." Jack replied.

"What about drugs?" Merry asked.

"Don't do them?" Jack asked, hoping to get this one right. Another pop and he was back to a tiger.

"Yay!!" Merry and Pippin cheered.

Another pop and Jack was back to normal.

"What did you do?" Merry asked as both her and Pippin looked at him in shock.

"I just thought about how lucky I am to have you. . ." Jack said, touching Merry's check. "Both of you."  
"Why thank you." Pippin said smiling.

"Where you really thinking about us?" Merry asked, not quite believing him. He just nodded.

Pippin, Mel, and the rest of the crew sneeked off before they where yelled at to leave.

Merry led Jack back into their cabin with a mischievious smile. A few things were heard that no one wanted to hear, and the couple were not seen again untill moring.

_**End Chapter Two**_

**Next Chapter:** _Aftereffects of Tainted Blood_


	4. Book One: Aftereffects of Tainted Blood

_AN: I don't own anything associated with Disney, Warner Bros., or anyone else that owns Harry Potter, Pirates of the Caribbean, Lord of the Rings, Yuu Yuu Hakusho, InuYasha, or any other copyrighted material that you can find in here. The only thing I own are some of the characters behind some of the names, including but not limited to: Merry, Pippin, Gimli, Handir, any others. They are mine, the names are not. The plot line is mine (if there ever was one). I only take partial credit for this. My best friends also own the plot and some of the characters as they helped me create them. They are my revisers, editors, idea givers, character creators, and everything else a writer needs for a story to be good. So, thanks guys. This story would not have been made if it weren't for you._

_**Chapter 3: Aftereffects of Tainted Blood**_

The next couple of months had past rather quickly for nearly everyone in the mansion. But, after the first full moon, the hobbit form that Merry was stuck with for another two months didn't seem quite as it should have been. Her height was not standard height for a normal hobbit; she was much too tall. She also was a lot thinner then what most would remember. The soles of her feet, which used to be leathery and covered in hair, was now more human like and barely showed signs of any hair. The hair on her head didn't seem normal. It wasn't as curly. To all who knew her best, they could tell that something had started to plaque her and make her extremely ill.

By the time the curse ended, she didn't seem to get any better. This really made people worried. They didn't notice when the curse ended that she was back to her normal self. OK, sure, she still looked like herself, but a few things were the same as before. She still looked deathly ill; as in her skin was pale, even grayish. They light in her eyes, that once shined bright, now was so dim you would have thought she had given up all hope. Also most, if not all, of her optimism was gone.

Before, Jack would have never have cared enough for a woman enough to stay more then just a couple of days; a week at best. But Merry was different. She made him feel something that no other woman had ever made him feel. This scared him a little. Sure, they had been together for nearly 14 years, but this feeling was still as strong as it had been when he first laid eyes on her.

This feeling was the whole reason he had stayed by her side through the whole ordeal. Never once did he want to leave her side for fear of her health turning for the worst. He didn't even want to leave for more then a couple of minutes. Pippin would literally force him to go get some sleep. What scared him was that she could hurt herself or someone else, maybe even someone or something getting in and hurt her.

Pippin also wanted to stay near also. She didn't know what she could have done, but at least she was there. She considered her as a part of her family. She actually felt more like a sister then anything else. I guess that's why everyone mistakes up for sisters, she thought.

On a early October night, the three of them had inhabited and empty room. They locked the door so no one would disturb them. Jack laid Merry down gently and sat in behind her so she would rest on him. Pippin sat on the end of the bed facing the tormented couple. She knew right away that the couple she was looking at had not have a very good start to there life together. It had always been one disaster after another.

They sat there in silence, not sure who should talk first. Merry had made herself comfortable against his chest and fell asleep. He had put his arms around her waist, gently holding her. Pippin hugged her knees to her and rested her chin on top of them.

"It's kinda strange." Pippin said, making conversation.

"What-"

"I'm just saying that, in a very pessimistic way, we are getting torn apart after a very short time of knowing each other." Pippin looked puffy eyed while talking. "I don't know what I'd do without any of my friends here." A tear rolled down her cheek.

"Well, we'll just have to make sure we don't get 'torn apart'." Jack said with a wink. "All we need to do is. . . is find out what's wrong with her."

"Do you think we should let her sleep while we talk about this?"

"She's been asleep nearly all day. Besides, I want to ask her how she felt during her little 3 month curse."

"You know, I think Will and Elizabeth would be very surprised that you care about someone just as much as you do or more then yourself." Pippin laughed still trying to wipe away the tears she'd been crying.

Jack was going to make a smart remark when Merry had opened her eyes. "Why does everyone want to wake me up?" She then tried to go back to sleep.

"We need to know the cause of you being constantly ill and sleepy, luv." He stroked her hair to keep her awake. "Do you have any idea as to why?"

"Hmm . . . Well, most of the month as a hobbit, I felt worn down and exhausted. But for those three days, I felt better then ever."

"So it has something to do with your missing hobbit genes." She was excited. Then she thought about what she had said. "Oh."

"Damn Voldemort!"

"We need to find a way to fill in those missin' parts."

"I think I know who to ask about that." He stated while letting Merry lay down on the bed as she was asleep again.

"Who-"

"Snape!" It was whispers so Merry wouldn't hear. He checks to make sure she's fine and rushes out of the door.

There's no way I'm gonna let him do this by himself, Pippin thought. She rushed out of the room after Jack.

* * *

Down in the dungeons, Snape was working on an experimental potion. He had just finished stirring and was ready to put in another ingredient when a knock at the door distracted him. It distracted him enough that he dropped the herb in too early. The potion was ruined.

He was about the tell who ever was at the door to go away, but the person started yelling.

"Snape! I know you're in there. Open UP!" The person pounded more on the door. You could hear a faint noise asking to be nice.

Snape sighed and opened the door. He was face to face with the one person he didn't care to see every again, Jack Sparrow. He sneered and attempted to slam the door in is face, but a booted foot prevented that.

"She's sick."

That made Snape open the door again.

"Please, sir. We need your help. She's not doing well at all and you may be the only one that could do something for her." Pippin pleaded, finally showing her face around Jack.

"Fine!" Snape snapped. "But this isn't because you asked." He stepped aside to let them in.

"Thank you." Pippin nudged Jack in the ribs.

"Ow. Yeah, um, Thanks."

"Now that you're here, why don't you tell me exactly what happened to Me- er Mrs. Sparrow. I'm sure it will be a fascinating story." He asked keeping a close eye on the pirate.

"She- um. . ."

"Tha' bastard you spy on did something to her. She's missing something." Jack claimed, not once looking away from a jar near him. He made a disgusting face and turned to look back at the wizard in front of him.

"If you're meaning a limb or an internal organ-"  
"No, that's not what's I'm talking about. I did tell you about Voldemort getting torn to pieces?"

Snape nodded.

"Well? The only way I could have," He clear his throat. "been freed, was to bargain with him. She offered half of herself, which so happened to be the Elvish part. He in turn, cursed her and she lives as an full elf for three days of the full moon and the rest as a full hobbit. Jack explained.

"We think that while in her elvish form he did something to the hobbit side which is causing her to be sick." Pippin continued. "You were the first person we thought of to help her."

"Really?" Snape said sarcastically as he turned on his heel and stormed off to his library. There, he started to look through potion books, which is actually few in number, before he found the right one. He began flipping through the pages and finally settled on one near the back of the book. "If you're really sure about this. . . ." Snape finally said not looking up from the book. "I'm going to need a sample of her blood."

"Isn't that a little extreme?" Pippin voiced her concern.

"I need a sample so I can work with the DNA. If the potion doesn't have the right DNA, it might not work." Snape sneered. "You do want this to work?"

Both nodded right away, kind of scared of the Potions Master.

"Then I need that blood sample." Snape snapped, starting to gather ingredients for the potion. He looked up while gathering some of the ingredients and noticed that they haven't moved. "Now!"

Both jumped at the harshness of his voice, more harsh then normal, and ran out of the dungeon. They didn't slow down or look back until they were far enough away to feel safe.

By the time they found their way back to the room they left Merry in, she wasn't there. They searched all over the house and found her in the kitchen. They were surprised that she had enough strength to make it down there and rummage through the frig. They just stood there staring at her like she had grown another head. They couldn't understand how she managed to gather up the energy to wake around when she was asleep when they left.

Without thinking, Jack blurted something out. "Wha' are you doin' up?"

Merry jumped, grabbed a knife, and turned around in surprise. She sighed in relief and put down the knife when she saw who it was. "I got hungry and no one was there when I woke up. No one answered when I called so I decided to get something myself." Just as the last syllable left her lips, she fell to the floor.

Both Jack and Pippin rushed to her to make sure she was alright. They both tried to help her up, but it was more like tug-of-war. They finally gave up and Jack sat her up while Pippin sat in front of her. She hadn't passed out which relieved the two sitting with her. She also didn't seem hurt in any way.

"Don't ever do that again!" Pippin scolded. "You scared us half to death."  
"Sorry" was all Merry could utter.

Pippin noticed the wolf's tail and suddenly remembers something. She jumped to her feet and ran to the door while saying "I'm going to go get Fox!"

* * *

Pippin came back with her intended person. She had explained what was going on to her while on the way back. She had to keep the two demons evenly spaced so that neither one could easily attack the other.

"So? Can you remove it?"

"Yes."

"Will you?"

"What's the catch?"

"If you don't. . . " Pippin had to think for a minute. "You don't get to humiliate Jack. Ever!"

"Oh, Fine!! I'll remove the tail." The staff appears. "Can I play with him afterwards?"

"No!"

"You're no fun." She seems not to do anything, but the tail began to slowly disappear. With a matter of seconds, the tail was gone.

"Thanks, Fox"

"You owe me big time!" She then disappeared into thin air.

Merry could feel that there was no more tail, but she still had to feel where it was just to make sure. She was tail-free and that put a weak gentle smile on her face.

While Merry was discovering she didn't have a tail, Jack pulled out a dagger that he had hidden in his sash and a small container he had swiped from Snape's lab.

"Don't you dare!" Pippin yelled when she noticed the dagger. "We need a blood sample not a sacrifice!"

"You want the blood, don't ya?" He hissed quietly, as Merry had just fallen back asleep.

Pippin nodded in defeat.

Jack nodded back and cut Merry's finger deep enough that the blood would run freely into the container and fill it. When he was done, he carried her upstairs and laid her down on the same bed he left her in hours ago. He took off in the direction of the dungeons while Pippin stayed with her.

* * *

A few days later, the potion was nearly done and Merry was steadily getting worse. Jack and Pippin took turns keeping Merry company while the other tried to help though Snape wouldn't allow it. Nearly a week later, the potion was ready.

"She is going to need to take this once a month basically for the rest of her life or unless something else can be found. If she somehow skips a dose, I'll come up there and make sure no one forgets."

"Yes, sir." Pippin answer first.

Since Jack didn't answer, Snape sneered at him. He noticed and nodded while muttered a "Yeah".

The both of them made it back up to the room in record time. They found Merry right were they had left her, only now she was sitting up reading a book. She didn't even have enough energy to walk around the house. She put the book down and looked at Jack with a weak smile.

"Is it ready?"

She asked before Jack could set the vial down.

"Yeah. It is, luv." he said tenderly. A thought came across his mind, the very same one that Pippin had said. His crew, Will, and Elizabeth would all give him a hard time about being this tender towards anyone.

Earlier in the week, Pippin had let it slip what they were up to. They both had to explain what it was, who it was for, and what it did.

"You had better hope this works." Merry threatened. "Or when I die, I'll come back as a ghost to haunt you forever."

Pippin covered her mouth to hid her laughter while Jack gave her a amused look. While they laughed, she took the vial and was about to drink it when Jack and Pippin yelled at her to stop.

"What?"

"What?" Jack copycatted.

She knew that when he did that, he was hiding something. She didn't question, just raised an eyebrow in suspicion.

"Uh. . . drink the water first." Pippin covered.

"Uh, yeah. Drink the water then ye can drink tha potion." Jack repeated seeming really on edge.

Merry just gave them a weird look, but did what they told her. She drank they water slowly while not taking her eyes off of them for one second. Then, she downed the liquid in the vial.

"So. . . How long do I have to wait before this kicks in?" She asked trying to get the foul taste out of her mouth. No one could answer since she started to hold her stomach in pain and scream.

Pippin immediately tried to help her. She tried to grab the legs, but got kicked. All she could do was sit and watch or she would get hurt more. Jack made sure Pip wasn't hurt any my Merry's kick. They both knew this would happen as Snape included it in the explanation. Pippin pulled her chair a little closer and Jack just paced the floor.

Nearly an hour later and screaming herself hoarse, Merry had finally stopped screaming and thrashing. By her deep, slow breathing, they knew she was asleep. Both even noticed how peaceful she had become since all of this started.

He nudged Pippin, who was nodding off. She look at him and he gestured that they leave the room. As they left, Jack felt that they had gotten past one obstacle, but many more where still to come.

**Next Chapter:**** Torture Spells**

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**Sorry for the extra long wait for these two chapters. At first I wasn't going to post either one. But then I got to thinking and I didn't want to let down the ones that had already favorited the story and those that favorited me as an author may actually read this. So, we all win. And if you like what you're reading, please review. I would really like to hear from you. Thanks. Oh and Thank you for making it this far in the story. You're the Best.**

**Merry**


	5. Book One: The Torture Spells

_Disclaimer is in the Prologue and in Chapter two. No where else will you find it. Although, I'd like to mention that I don't own any of the songs mentioned in this chapter._

**Volume One; Book One:**

**Chapter 4: **Torture Spells

Since Merry had been doing a lot better, Pippin decided to organize a nice dinner. She had gotten Fox, Hiei, Mel, Snape, Jacob, Pick, and Jack all civilized enough not to kill each other while sitting at the table. The only one that was still missing was Merry.

Merry still felt a little weak but she felt strong enough to be walking around the house. She was walk down the hallway towards the stairwell when she heard a commotion coming from the dinning room. She made her way down the stairs and into the dinning room. She got a shock, as did everyone sitting at the table.

"I assume the potion has been working like it should." Snape expressed with concern, which was unusual for him. Jack, Pippin, and mel all looked at each other with a flabbergasted expression. Jack even became slightly jealous and kept a close eye on Snape.

Before the meal had even begun, the glass ceiling began to crack and down fell a dwarf (who looked a lot like James). Everyone flew back as he had hit the table. In a blink of an eye, Fox began to poke him with a very long stick. "I think we have another 'Hobbit'."

Everyone started to get closer to the table. A minute later, both Merry and Pippin where poking it with a stick also.

"I don't think it's a hobbit." Jack corrected, resisting the urge to poke as well.

As they poked, the dwarf started to wake up. He slowly opened his eyes and saw something that startled him. 18 pairs of eyes were staring at him. He screamed, jumping off of the table, and he ran out of the house.

"Awwwww. My play thing ran away. . . . . ." Fox pouted, faking. She spotted Merry, Pippin, Mel, and Jack and gets an evil grin on her face. Pick and Jacob were smart enough to get out of the room before she spotted them. The other four, however, didn't get away fast enough. They rushed to the kitchen door before Fox didn't anything. The Black Staff appeared and it's first victim of the day was the last one to the door. Pippin was the last one to the door and the spell hit her in the middle of the back. She stopped a quarter-way into the kitchen and slowly turned toward the refrigerator. She got a little scared as her legs started moving on there own towards the appliance. She finally stopped at it only to open unwillingly and pull out a jar of pickles and unscrew the lid. She got green in the face as she knew what was going to happen. She could smell the pickle juice and it made her sick. Her hand pulled a pickle out of the jar slowly and started to put it in her mouth. Hot tears rolled down her cheeks as she bit off and chewed a piece of pickle.

Mel was the next to last person out of the door and was one of the easiest to catch. A spell also hit him in the back. He stopped dead in his tracks and had a very sudden mood swing. Terror turned immediately into depression. He covered his face in his hands and cried fat tears. What for, no one knows. The weeping kept him from noticing the poorly imitated vampires nosily approach the sobbing elf. One had grabbed his shoulders and was about to bite his neck when he finally noticed what was behind him. He turned around and had a good look and screamed like a girl while running away. The vampires where close behind him.

Jack, though, was quite harder to hit. Fox found him near the stairs. She chased him all around the living room and up the stairs for nearly an hour. He ducked, jumped, weaved, and shape-shifted just to avoid the spells that were getting thrown at him. She finally cornered him at the end of a hallway where the doors where all locked. He became a little concerned since he had never come across anyone quite like Fox before. He couldn't even talk his way out of the situation before he was hit in the stomach with a spell that compelled him to go out to a bar where everyone knew him and start singing the most embarrassing songs that someone like him could sing.

Fox smiled, knowing she was causing destruction and mayhem. She liked destruction and mayhem. She only had one more person to chase down before her fun ran out. She found her missing person hiding in a closet not too far from where she had gotten Jack. What gave her away was the light that had been left on. Fox giggled as she opened the door and attacked before Merry could even breathe. The demon moved aside so the other could walk out. She looked like she was extremely angry except for her eyes. The eyes showed fear and sadness as she knew what she was going to have to do without any control. She could cry at what she was going to have to say and do. "Where's my Jackie?" She cringed and she heard her own sickly sweet voice. She felt her legs begin to move on their own and towards the front door. She didn't know where she was going, but she did know she wasn't going to like it.

That was all the fun that Fox could have for the moment. Though, she rather did enjoy it, and gave a genuine smile. She watched the last of her victims walk away and felt satisfied. She then left in a puff of smoke, not to be seen again for a long while.

Nearly an hour later, Pippin was sitting in the mist of hundreds of empty pickle jars. The frig door was still open. Inside it, dozens of more jars everywhere. It seemed the people living there ate nothing but what were in those jars. She seemed to be really green in the face and a trash can sat very close to her. She picked out another whole pickle from the jar sitting in her lap and brought it to her lips. It hit the outside of her mouth as she was refusing to open it. She withdrew her hand a couple of inches and tried again, still hitting her closed lips. It tried again, this time hitting her cheek. Even though her head was turned her lips where still tightly closed.

Then, she realized that the spell was starting to wear off. Her hand wasn't as forceful and she could move her head away. She tried to keep her hand from forcing the pickle on her but she could only hold it for a few seconds. She kept trying and eventually she was able to hold it for a few minutes. After an hour, the spell had worn off completely and she was free to run away from the horror that was the pickle. She decided to go see if everyone else was ok.

Mel, who had not yet realized that the 'vampires' had disappeared long ago, huddled in a dark corner and shook with fear. He notices a shadow coming from the other end of the room. It came closer and closer. Mel was completely freaking out and started to scream. He hid his face behind his knees while his whole body shook more violently. The shadowed fiqure came ever closer and made Mel try to scoot back even more into the wall. It came into the light and he immidiently quit screaming and trying to run when he finally notices who it is.

"Why in the world are you screaming?" Pippin asked in complete confusion.

He took a few deep breaths and began to speak. "I thought you were something scary like a vampire. I hate vampires. They're creepy." He shivered.

She looked at him in even more confusion. She clearly remembered them watching movies with vampires in them and he didn't react nearly as extreme as he just did then. She shrugged it off and helped him off the floor.

"We need to find Merry and Jack before something really horrible happens." She suggested very seriously.

"Isn't something 'really horrible' always happening to them?"

"Yes, but this is different."

"How?"

"Because," Pippin started getting irritated. "this involves magic. Fox is behind this and if it were any normal crisis, Merry would be after him with a frying pan."

He nodded in understanding.

"Now let's go."

A small group had gathered to watch a strange scene. Someone was dancing around the stage to really annoying pop music while wearing pigtails and a school girl outfit. He had started singing Britney Spears songs and attempting the dance moves. They snickered and giggled at the sight of him.

"Show me how you want it to be-" Jack sang off key, followed by a horrible dance step. Just a second after, a blinding flash erupted and Jack was now in a different set of cloths. A green jersey with a big white number five on it, fire engine red hair that was pulled back into a pony tail with dreads and all, and wind breaker pants.

The crowd was stunned since they had never seen such a thing before. Though they did want to know what was going to happen next with the act. They got their wish.

He began doing dance steps that looked like they would take quite a bit of energy to do while singing 'Tearin' Up My Heart' by 'Nsync. That song ended and another flash came. He was in a tuxedo and singing, what they crowd only could guess, was opera.

Not a few seconds into the song, the door opened and Merry came into the room. She spotted Jack and gave an evil smile. She sat down near the front of the stage and waited patiently for the end. She didn't have to wait long, just 2 more songs which were 'Get Another Boyfriend' and 'It's Gonna Be Me'.

Before the crowd had a chance to leave, Merry got up and started berating her husband. "That was lovely, really. But I had a problem of telling whither or not you were a girl."

He looked at her stunned. He had never heard her talk to anyone like that, let alone him. He was hurt. Little did he know he would get his heart broke.

"Oh, I've got one more thing to say to you. You're stupid, you're a drunk, and you're hair and eyeliner makes you look like a girl." She then walked off into the busier section of the bar. The rest of the crowd looked at each other not sure what just happened.

"I thought you liked the hair and eyeliner." Jack yelled at her retreating form looking even more hurt. He walked over to the bar and was about to order a rum when he noticed the bartender flirting with him. He backed up and bumped into a guy behind him. He turned to find the guy flirting with him as well. "Oh god, I really do look like a girl." His eyes got really big and ran into the crowd where Merry had gone.

"I knew you would always come back to me one day." Joey said very smugly.  
"I just couldn't keep myself away any longer." Merry said with a dreamy look on her face, but her eyes looked sad.

"You are even more beautiful then the last time I saw you. You're glowing."

"Why thank you."

"I had heard you got married. Who's the son of a bitch that took my place?"

"That really doesn't matter now." She batted her eyes.

Jack pushed through the crowd to where he found her and another guy he didn't know. She seem pretty interested in him and he became jealous. He calmly walked over to the table and stood where his back was to Joey. "Come on, luv. Let's go."

"No, I'm talking." She smiled at Joey.

"Merry, please?"

"Go away. How 'bout you find you're self a hussie and have some fun, hmm?"

His heart sank. "Alright, if tha's what ye want."

"Yeah, it is."

That's when his heart broke. He sighed and walked away with a hung head. He was so upset that he was willing to remove his bandana and reveal his distingished features and let a few tears fall. "I've lost my only love for good."

People began to notice how different he was and became scared and confused. Some found and grabbed weapons and followed him out to the back alley. Others followed with the intention to use their bare hands or to just see what was going on.

Five minutes later, the spell that was controlling Merry was nearly worn off and she began to be bored with Fatone. She had her head proped up with one hand and was responding with an "That's nice." or a "Uh-huh." She finally noticed what was going on. "Do you know what's going on?"

"Hm, Oh. Someone's probably got into a fight. So what have you been doing all this time?"

"You know what? I never missed you. In fact, I was glad to get away from you. That man that talked to me was my husband and I love him. Not you. You will never live up to the kind of man he is."

Joey just stared at her in disbelief.

She found someone heading out the back door and stopped them. "Do you know what's going on?"

"Didn't you hear? There's a freak in the alleyway."

"What does he look like?"

"Long black hair, pointed ears, and a strange mark on his forehead that looks like a backwards five."

"Oh, my god! Jack!" She rushed out into the alley pushing people aside. Once she got out she had to push through more people to see what was going on. She made it through enough to see that a balled up figure was being kicked and beat with a ball bat. She couldn't stand it. She screamed for them to stop as she ran to his side. "For god's sake, stop!" She put his head in her lap and stroked his hair while tears fell.

They stopped assaulting him so they wouldn't hit her.

She continued to stroke his hair while she studied his face. Blood was oozing out of his bottom lip, a black eye was forming along with several bruises around his face and who knows where else on his body, small cuts were scattered on his face. His shirt was beginning to be soaked with blood on his right arm and his left leg just above the knee.

"Why don't you just leave him alone!" She yelled, clearly angery. "He's done nothing to any of you."

"He's a freak of nature." Some one in the crowd yelled. The rest of the crowd hummed with mixed responses.

"Go away and leave us alone."

One of the men that was attacking Jack when she arrived inched closer intending to get her out of the way. She saw this and dug for the hidden pistol. She found it and pointed it at the man approaching. "Get any closer and I'll shot!"

He backed away slowly, not wanting to get her mad.

"Now all of you, go away!"

Everyone at first didn't move, but after a couple of seconds they slowly filed back into the bar.

Next thing she knew she felt Jack move and saw him get up and walk away. "Jack? Are-"

"I never asked you to help me."

Fresh tears fell down her face as she remembered how she treated him in the last hour. "I'm sorry about what I said and did. I didn't mean it."

"No Merry. Do you know how much it hurt to see ye with someone else after what we've been through so far? Ye blew me off like ye didn't care 'bout me, and I still think ye don't care 'bout me."

Merry got angry. "I don't care about you, huh? Why in the hell would I defend you from a mob of scared people that want to kill you? If I didn't care, I would have let them kill you."

Jack walked back over to her and seated himself next to her. "I guess yer right. But it still hurt. I felt betrayed, but for now I'll believe you."

"You ought to know I would never willingly betray you. I love you too much." She put her hand on a section of his face that wouldn't hurt him. "I think we should get you home to take care of you're injuries."

He nodded and got up. He held out a hand to help her up as well. He started to walk away when he noticed she wasn't following. He turned and saw that she was standing in the same place. "Luv?"

"I . . . "  
"What's the matter?"

She took a deep breath. "I'm pregnant." She looked down, thinking he would react badly to the news.

Jack waited to hear that she was just kidding but it never came. A few seconds of silence made him realize she was completely serious. He never reacted the way he thought he would. He was strangely calm and almost . . . happy. He thought that maybe that was because he was in love with the woman.

She looked at him expecting him to be pacing frantically ranting to himself. Instead, he too was standing where he had stopped. He was grinning.

"Jackie?"

He looked at her and his grin became a smile. "I'm gonna-"

She nodded and smiled as well.

He walks up to her briskly and twirls her around before kissing her passionately. "It seems strange."

"What does?"

"I never thought I'd be so happy to find out I'm gonna be someone's father."

"Well get used to it 'papa' ".

"Ok now that is strange."

"I think we should really get home and let Pip and Mel tell them the news."

He nodes and put an arm around her waist. They walked side by side all the way back to the mansion.

They sat everyone down in the living room not long after Jack's wounds were treated. Merry announced her news and everyone seemed very excited. Pippin was extra excited.

"I'm gonna be an aunt!" Pippin exclaimed happily. "Oh I can't wait. I am going to help you get all you need before that baby comes."

"That would great."

**End Chapter 4**

**Next Chapter****: **_Paranoid Father-To-Be_


	6. Book One: Paranoid FatherToBe

_If you are still looking for a disclaimer at the beginning of each of these, you're more insane then I am! Lol, not really. But you're still pretty insane to still be looking for them. There still in the Prologue, so you'd better look there._

**Volume One; Book One:**

**Chapter 5: **Paranoid Father-To-Be

Jack was laying in bed thinking about becoming a father. Merry was fast asleep on his chest and held there by his left arm. He looked at her and sighed. He had been thinking about her as well as becoming a father all night. He knew he was very excited, but also terrified about starting a family. He also worried if he would make a good father. He was so used to running that he wasn't completely sure he would be able to help himself and stay to help raise his child.

Merry rolled over and pulled the covers up to her chin while shivering slightly. He farted an extra blanket and put it over her. Before he left the room, he kissed her head and gazed at her sleeping form.

He made his way down to the kitchen and opened one of the cabinets. He pulled a rum bottle out, pulled the cork out with his teeth and sat down at the kitchen table. He had taken a few long swigs before he heard foot steps coming down the stairs.

"Lovely, she's woken up and gonna be grumpy." He muttered to himself.

The foot steps came closer until the person attached to them entered the room. Mel blinked when he stepped into the light. When he could finally see, he noticed Jack sitting at the table.

"Wha'da doin' up?" He slurred.

"Couldn't sleep. You?"

"Thirsty." Mel answered while filling a glass of water. "Why couldn't ya sleep? Not worried about the baby are you?"

"A little"

"Ah, well. It'll be fine. I promise, you two will make good parents." He then took his glass and headed back up to bed.

Jack sat there for several more minutes by himself. He got so lost in thought that he didn't see or hear Septimius come into the room and sit right in front of him. It took Jack a couple of seconds to realize someone was is there. "Oh, sorry. I didn't see you."

"I hear you are worried."

"That loud-mouthed elf!"

"No, it wasn't Mel. Do you want to talk about it?"

"NO!" He blurted instantly. He stared at the bottle and sighed. He probably would feel better if he got this off of his chest. "Merry's pregnant. And yes, it's true, the child is mine." He grinned.

"Merry?" Septimius queried to himself. "So she does belong to someone else. That's interesting."

"What do ye mean 'that's interesting'? Belong to someone else? What're ye talking about?" Jack was getting worried. "If she's cheating on me . . . She'd never cheat on me, right?"  
"Calm down. No one's cheating on anybody. . . well almost no one." The last part he said almost under his breath and made Jack look at him a little suspiciously. "What I mean, Demon, is that some one is after your 'bonnie lass', as you like to call her."

The 'demon' just raised an eyebrow in confusion, but didn't say anything.

"A prince." He continued.

"Ah! You really think that a prince is after me wife." He smirked as he sat back.

"Look here, you. Just protect her, alright? If you really love her, you would make sure she stayed safe." He started to panic as he warned. He really needed to help this, this thing with whatever was going to happen.

"Alright, lad. Calm down. I don't know why I would want to protect her with such ferocity, but I will. Even if I have to track her down and fight off the bastard that attempts to take her from me." He swears. "Anyway, I don't think that would ease my fears of becoming a father though."

"Oh, well. . . From what I hear, it's horrible. At least at first. The mother will be exhausted from both carrying and giving birth to the baby."

Jack started to look worried.

"She'll ask you to help. There's no escaping that. You will have to bathe them, change their diaper, feed them, clothe them, play with them, take them with you when you want to go out, even get up in the middle of the night when they cry. It's horrible, I tell you, HORRIBLE!!! You don't come back from something like that." He looked very serious.

The entire time Septimius described the 'horrific' things about parenthood, Jack grew more and more worried and scared. When he was done, Jack was so scared that he jumped out of the chair and ran for the door to escape. He ran right up to the bedroom, the whole time he was yelling for his wife. Septimius sat at the table laughing to himself.

She heard Jack calling for her and couldn't figure out where it was coming from. She was having a nice dinner with Masi Oka. The restaurant was a fancy looking place and she was in a expensive looking purple dress. She heard Jack yell again and in a split second the room changed to the deck of the Black Pearl. Barbossa was at the helm and she felt this may have been what happened if she was never introduced to Jack. The dream went on and she became more confused as to what was reality and what was the dream. To her, it was soon debatable as to who, or what, was the father of her child was. The next yell was the one to jolt her out of the dream.

She sat straight up just as Jack rushed through the bedroom door and closed it. He held it closed for a few seconds like something was going to burst through it any second. She looked at him like he was finally starting to lose his mind.

He finally turned around and came towards the bed. "I'm glad yer up, luv. I wanted to talk to you."

" I wanted to talk to you, too. I had this very realistic dream-"

"Let me ask ya a quick question first. When the baby is born, ye aren't gonna torture me with constantly taken' care of the kid, are ye?"

"If you mean completely by your self, then no. We will share this responsibility. Speaking of the baby, my dream was so realistic that I'm not quite sure if it was a memory or just a dream. Barbossa was in it."

"Barbossa?!? You've never met him before. How could you recognize him?"

"He's the one with the big hat, yellow eyes, long fingernails, and an unnatural craving for apples, right?

His eyes bulged. "How-"

"Like I said, very realistic. I got confused enough that I think . . . I think mind you, that this baby might not be yours."

He raised an eyebrow. "You're basing this on a dream you had once. Luv, are you feeling alright?"

"I feel just fine!" She became angry. "I know you think I'm going crazy, but that dream felt very real and I am thinking it wasn't really a dream, but more of a memory."

"That potion Snape gave you may have some side affects. These dreams may just be one of those."

"This is not a side affect!" She yelled as she jumped out of the bed and stormed towards the door. Before she could make it out of the room, he grabbed her arm. When she looked at him, she had a look of frustration and disappointment on her face that for a minute he thought was for him. Then he realized that she was just upset about the whole situation and what was discussed.

"Look, I'm sorry 'bout not believin' ya. But, I don't see how that child could not be mine unless you have been cheatin' on me. Right now, I don't think you would."

"My dream was that I didn't even KNOW you! I had instead met Barbossa." She still seemed really upset.

"If it makes you feel any better," He turned her completely towards him and grabbed her other hand. "we can see the doctor in the morning and see if we can get that one thing done that tests weither or not one person is related to another?" He really tried to explain what he was thinking of. He wanted her to feel like she really hadn't betrayed him. Though, he would still love her either way, no matter how angry he gets.

She started to laugh. She was laughing so hard that she barely got her response out. "You mean a DNA test."

"Yeah, that thing." He looks a little confused. "How does it work?"

"Well, the doctor takes blood or hair from each person being tested and compares the samples." She starts to calm down. "Besides I don't think that will be necessary. It's too early."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah." She begins to think about all that was said and realizes that what she was trying to say was absolutely ridiculous. She started laughing again. "I really must have gotten carried away with this dream thing. It was realistic though."

"It's fine."

"I'm sorry about this. You know what, to make up for this I'll let you sleep more when the baby comes." She joked, but he didn't see the humor. He started to look like he was starting to panic again, only this time, he was looking green to go with it. He tried to hide it, but that was something he could never keep from her. She became concerned. "Oh, dear. You don't look so good."

"I. . I'm fine." He lied. "I uh, I think I'm gonna go for a walk. I just need fresh air." That's when he walked out of the room and closed the door behind him. Soon as the door closed, he ran down the hall, down the stairs, and out the front door. He didn't stop running until he reached a boat that would take him to his ship. He would later regret it, but he couldn't resist the urge to run away. He was terrified. the only way to feel somewhat safe was to return to the one place he could be safe. He needed to return to his time period in the caribbean.

Merry knew he had ran on her. She half expected him to and decided to give him some time to himself. She thought a couple of days would calm him down enough to come to his senses.

A week had come and went and no word was sent about what was happening to him. She began to worry. She needed to confide in someone about this situation. Pippin was the first one she thought of.

She tracked town Pippin and found her in her room listening to her i-pod. She asked her if she minded her talking to her at that moment. She didn't and sat her i-pod on her desk. Then, they seated themselves on Pippin's bed.

"I don't know what to do. He's never done this before. I'm really worried." She explained as she tried to hold back tears.

"I'm sure he's fine. He's a big boy and can take care of himself." Pippin tried to comfort.

"Yeah, well he needs to quit thinking of himself now!" She raged. "He's about to be a father!" She took a few breaths. "I'm sorry, Pip. I'm just so angry with him."

"I don't blame you. But maybe you should go find him and talk this out. You can knock some sense into him, no not hitting him!" She warned before her friend got the idea into her head. "You are one of the only ones he would ever listen to. He trusts you and would probably think about what was said if it came from you."

"I don't know. Jack is one of those people who once they get an idea in there head it's hard to persuade them other wise."

"Well you can always chase him around with a frying pan until he agrees. I may want to come along just to see that happen." She joked.

Merry laughed. "I guess you're right."

"I know I'm right!"

"I'll try to get things set up and we'll leave as soon as possible." Her angry was nearly gone, but only to be replaced with sadness.

"We?"

"Yeah. I'm taking you with me. I'll need someone to keep me company and to hold me back so I don't kill my lunatic husband." She laughed.

"Alright. If I have to." Pippin joked.

"Thanks. You're the best!" She hugged her.

"Yeah, yeah." Pippin smiled.

"I think I'll go upstairs and straighten things up. Maybe I'll get an idea about what exactly to do." She walked to the stairway but stopped. She turned back to Pippin. "Thanks. For everything"

"You're welcome." She looked after her best friend. She knew she, Merry, was hurting. She just hoped that they find Jack and he actually agrees to come back home.

Merry mad er way to her room and noticed that all the clothes on the floor. She knew they weren't hers since she didn't war long sleeved shirts. He picked them up and could still smell it without putting it under her nose. It smelled just like him and it made her miss him even more. She put all the clothes in a pile and then stared at the room. As she looked around the room, she noticed that his side of the bed was still made. By looking at it, she realized that it would be another long night.

She walked over to her side of the bed and noticed that picture sitting on the nightstand. She knew she wouldn't be able to sleep anymore then a few minutes at a time if she could stare at it all night. She made the decision to lay it face down.

She then walked over to the dresser to find something to sleep in. She found the outfit. Even though she was settled into bed, she was far from falling asleep. She laid there thinking about what she discussed with Pippin and how they could get where Jack was and where they would start. Who would be the first they would talk to. The only ones she could think of was Will, Elizabeth, Norrington, and Gibbs. She knew though that Norrington would not be too eager to help her if Jack was involved. She wasn't too sure about Gibbs as she wasn't sure if and where he was at sea. The other two she was unsure about also, but they seemed to be more help then Norrington or Gibbs. The only other thing to worry about was how they would get there. She fell asleep thinking about it.

She started awake about 3 in the morning with an idea. What fueled the idea was what Pippin had told her about how her family had gotten to this world. She wrote the idea down and fell back asleep.

When she finally got up, she headed to Pippin's room to see if she was up. When she got there, she found the room unpreocuppied. She decided to go downstairs. She had just walked into the living room when she started hearing voices coming from the kitchen.

"We can't let her take this journey alone. It's just not safe for her."

"Well, if you hadn't sounded so serious, he wouldn't have taken off. So basically, all of this is YOUR FAULT!" This voice sounded upset as it was arguing with the first.

Merry walked in the room and those in the room became quiet and stared at her. She stopped in the doorway and looked around in confusion and worry. "I think I will now leave." She turned and started to walk away. Septimius grabbed a shoulder to stop her.

"Don't leave."

"Who I'm looking for isn't in here. So I don't need to stay. Do me a favor though. Don't you EVER argue about the decisions I make behind my back. In fact, that goes for my husband as well. If you have a problem with it, then come talk to us about it, don't talk about it with someone else. If you do, you will not like the consequences. Do you understand?"

"Yes, I understand. If there is anything I can do to make up for my horrendous mistake, please, don't hesitate to ask." He apologized, yet didn't really look at all sorry. He looked more like a cartoon villain watching his evil plan unfold.

Merry noticed that look that he had on his face but didn't think anything of it. "Actually you can do something for me right now. You can tell me what portal my husband went through."

"Why would you think that I would know that?"

"Because you are the one who caused him to run!" She accused.

Septimius stared at her in confusion. "How did you-?"

"Pippin overheard you!" She came close to yelling

"I still don't understand."

"I'm thinking that what you told him, you said for a reason. Maybe you said what you said knowing that he would freak and run, I don't know. But I do believe you said it in order to get one or both of us out of the way. Therefore, you know what portal he went through."

The one person in the room was frightened enough that he didn't know if he should leave or stay where he was.

"So you will either tell me what portal or take me to it!"

"Okay. I will. When?"

"As soon as I find Pippin. You are staying right next to me so I know you're not running."

"Fine!" He said, clearly showing anger.

Twenty minutes later, she came back with Pippin beside her. Pippin looked like she just got up and wasn't able to fix anything about her appearance except her mood, which was irritated.

"I can't believe you interrupted my nap. I was having a good dream, too."

"I'm sorry Pippin. I can't wait until later this afternoon. Besides, you did agree to come along." She apologized, looking rather sad.

Pippin sighed. "I thought we weren't leaving until nightfall so no one would be able to recognize us." She yawned. "I'm finishing my nap if we're traveling a while." She joked.

Merry smiled, almost laughing. "Anyway Septimius. I think we should leave now."

He just nodded and maneuvered around the two girls. The three of them headed out a side door and piled into a car that the girls didn't really know who it belonged to.

They drove for what seemed like several hours before they came to a deserted spot in an abandoned town. Most of the buildings were either in ruins or close to it. The roads where cracked or covered in potholes and vegetation was growing through the cracks.

He lead the two through a collapsed doorway that belonged to a century old building. He made his way to the other side of the room keeping close to the walls.

Merry ad Pippin came in shortly after and stared in awe at what was in the middle of the room. They were in awe because they had never seen one of these things as large as this one was. The swirls and shimmers that reached the collapsing roof were a beautiful sight. The sun hit it. It shone like it was made of polished crystal. What they were looking at was the portal.

They seperated and walked around each side of it. They looked up at it as if they were mesmerized. When they got to the back of it, Pippin asked a question. "Can we go through it or do we have to wait for a specific moment?"

"You can go through it now if you like." He answered.

"You are staying here." Merry told Septimius.

"I know. I wouldn't want to slow you down."

Merry nodded and began walking closer to the portal. She stopped inches from it and noticed that it was really noisy up close but for some reason, it couldn't be heard from just a couple feet away.

Pippin stopped next to her. "I'm a little scared." she yelled.

"So am I. Let's go through together. It won't be as scary."

'Okay."

They both stood in front of the portal, locked arms and walked through it together. They were unaware that Septimius was already leaving. He had a jester grin on his face and holding back a evil grin.

They arrived in the time they were supposed to, but the portal they came through had disappeared without a trace. The two looked around trying to determin where they were so they could guess how long they needed to travel.

A person walked by that looked like a navel officer. Merry stopped him and asked politely were they were. He looked at her funny before he answered.

"Port Royale, ma'am."

"Thank you." She replied. She then walked off with Pippin beside her.

"This is so mind-blowing!" Pippin said in awe. She was silent for a moment, then blurted, "I don't think I brought deoderant."

Merry giggled. "I really don't think that matters much right now."

"It matters to me." She said, tring to fake being offended.

"I'm sorry." Merry said, believing her.

"You weirdo, I was joking." Pippin laughed.

She laughed in embarassment and then decided it was time to find a familar face. She lead them toa blacksmith shop. She walked in and looked around. The only one that seemed to be there was an older man asleep on the other side of the shop. They both left the shop and started towards what was the governer's mansion.

The door bell was rung and a member of the hired help answered the door. The person almost didn't reconize Merry, but once he did, he let them in and informed them that he will let 'Mr. Turner' know they were here. They didn't have to wait long before Will walked into the room.

"Merry! It's good to see you. And who is this lovely lady with you?"

"This is my best friend, Pippin."  
"Pleasure to meet you, Pippin."

"Nice to meet you, too." She replied pleasently.

"So, what brought on this unexpected visit? You didn't bring Jack with you?"

Merry's face fell. "That's why we are here. He fled in a blind panic and we need to find him."

"What did you tell him?"

"It wasn't what I really said, but-" She mumbled the last part.

"Excuse me?"

"She's pregnant!" Pippin blurted, irritated.

"Well, I expected you two to have kids years ago, but I just you were just, as Jack would say, waiting for 'the opportune moment'." He gave a short laugh. "I'm guessing that's why he ran."  
"Not exactly." Merry started.

As she talked about what had happened a few short hours ago, Pippin examined the large, fancy room they were in. She had never been in this kind of house before and really didn't know what to expect to see inside of it as far as furniture and other belongings. But, she noticed some familiar objects she could have sworn she remembered seeing at home. She reconized a tri-corner hat and coat by the front door, a compass and book (Homer's The Odessy) were laying on the table nearby, and his belt was hanging from a chair.

Before Merry was done talking, Pippin interupted. "Which roon is he in?"

"Excuse me?" He asked, shocked.

"Jack! His stuff is here and he would never just leave this stuff here on purpose. So, he's here OR he was here and was found and aressted. Which is it?"

Merry stared at her while Will became nervous.

"He was here, but Norrington fiqured out he came back. He's awaiting the gallow's now."

"And why haven't you tried saving him? Don't you care what could happen to his family if he was gone?" Merry yelled, close to tears.

"I would have, but I was told that if I tried, I would get the same fate. I've got a family of my own to take care of and I can't keeprescuing him every time he get's himself in trouble."

A boy came into the room. "Daddy? When is Uncle Jack coming back to finish the story?"

Merry walked to hi m and knelt down. "I'll make sure he comes back to finish the story. I promise."  
"Really?" The child's eyes lit up.

"You bet'cha." She smiled, then stood up. The boy then hugged her, catching her by suprise and then ran off to tell his mother about the nice lady who is going to bring Uncle Jack back.

"Thank you-"

"I'm not doing it for you. I promised your son. Besides, my child will need his or her father soon." She turned and left. Pippin followed after mouthing 'sorry' to him.

They found their way to the jail. They convinced the faurds to let them in by using what God gave them (Pippin not so much. She just stood there looking cute and innocent, which she really was). They made their way down and started looking into the cells. Neither one could find him and Merr was starting to freak. Finally, she just yelled, "Fine! I should have known you didn't want to be found. I'll just leave you here to die and we'll go home. I'll just have to tell our child he had a new daddy 'cause his other one didn't love mommy." Pippin giggled.

"That's so mean!" Pippin whispered.

A hushed voice finally called out. "Merry?"

"Were are you?" Pippin asked.

"Cell nearest the door."

They reached the cell and found who they were looking for. they both sighed. Merry was about to say something when Jack put his hand up.

"Listen, luv. I'm sorry for leavin'. I 'ave been thinkin' since I've been here and. . . " He laughs. "If someone told me I'd be saying this, I'd tell them they were crazy. But I have been thinking and what Septimius had said was the biggest lie I had ever heard. I want to help take care of this child of ours." He put his hand on Merry's growing stomach. "I've never hoved someone like you. And I'll never abandon you ever again."

Both girls stared at him for a few seconds then started laughig like crazy. Pippin fell over while Merry doubled over, neither one being able to breathe.

"That's the dumbest speech I have ever heard." Pippin said between breaths.

Merry takes some deep breathes so she could speak. "I can't believe he said it! It sounded so fake."

Jack's expression went from surprise to anger over the course of the girls laughter. "Alright. I get it. You're paying me back for runnin'. Get me out of here."

"We weren't kidding about your speech." Pippin clairified.

"Well, I meant most of what I meant." Jack stated, getting more angry.

"What didn't you mean?" Merry asked.

"Just never mind."

"Listen, hun. If we really want to pull a prank, I would have told you that I was already seeing someone else and then left you here."

"That's not funny, that's just cruel!" He stuttered, shocked.

"How about I save it till I feel really mean." Merry kidded. "Now, are you ready to leave this nasty place?"

"Ye kiddin'? This place is starting to feel like home."

Everyone laughed as the door was unlocked. The door swung open and Jack ran out. He waved them to follow and he lead them out of the jail and to a location that not many people knew about.

"Jack, don't you need to go back to Will and Elizabeth's? You're stuff is still there." Merry though for a moment. "Pip, how did you know Jack was either in jail or in the house somewhere?"

"Well, I saw some of the things that Jack normally wouldn't leave behind and remembered that Norrington still wanted to hand him. So, I fiqured he was wither arrested or just in another room."

"Pip, you are a GENIUS!"

"Yes, yes. That's great. Now I do think we need to return. I want my affects." Jack stated, getting irritated.

"Oh, and I promised that I would bring you back so you could finish the story for Will's little boy." Merry said apologetically.

"I guess we can stay a little while longer to spend time with the Turners." Jack gave in to his wife.

Jack lead the back to the mansion and spent the rest of the evening reading to Louis, The Turner's boy.

**End Chapter 5**

**Next Chapter:**_ Baby Sparrow; Not So Happy Ending_


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